Just One of the Guys
by Elianna22
Summary: What if Bailey didn't fall into the hot tub on Day 1 at Seven Seas High? What mayhem, misunderstandings, and melodrama will her secret identity as a girl cause for Zack, Cody, and the rest of the gang? Epilogue – Happy New Year, Part 3 COMPLETE.
1. Prologue: How Did This Happen?

**A/N: This idea came to me awhile ago, and I couldn't resist turning it into a story. This is my very first **_**Suite Life**_** fanfic. Reviews and constructive criticism welcome. Thanks and enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any part of the **_**Suite Life**_** franchise.

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**Prologue: How Did This Happen?

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The first time I set foot on a boat I was awfully seasick. I was 10 years old and my family was on our first and only vacation, to Cousin Cletus's alligator farm in Florida. The whole trip sucked, especially the boat part. But that experience didn't stop me from applying to Seven Seas High six years later. I was desperate to get out of Kettlecorn, and high school on a cruise ship seemed like my only chance to escape.

And now here I am on the _S.S. Tipton_, thousands of miles away from Kansas, in a 12 x 12 cabin that I share with my boyfriend, Zack Martin. Not bad for a 16-year-old girl from the sticks, right? I haven't even been seasick once. No, the queasy feeling in my stomach has nothing to do with seasickness.

I look over at Zack, who's sprawled on his back in the bed next to mine, snoring as usual. The moonlight streaming through the porthole in our cabin accentuates his dreamy features. I don't even mind the snoring, to be honest. Growing up in a farmhouse full of brothers, I'm pretty used to snoring. At least Zack doesn't cut the cheese in his sleep like Woody Fink, who lives across the hall.

Zack and I have been together for almost three months now. We are basically having a secret torrid affair behind the backs of everyone here at Seven Seas High. This is as much as fun as it sounds – most of the time. Zack is a great guy, but he's not exactly Mr. Sensitive. Plus, he's a slob and a terrible student.

If only he were more like Cody.

This statement is troubling for so many reasons. The first being that Cody is Zack's twin brother. The second being that Cody also happens to be Woody's roommate (very troubling for Cody). Third, Cody thinks I'm a boy. Fourth, so does everyone else at Seven Seas High—well, except for Zack, that is.

Lately I've been feeling like I, Bailey Pickett, am starring in my own personal _Cruise of Deception_. How did my life become such a soap opera? Where do I even begin?


	2. Chapter 1: Yo, I'm Bailey Pickett

**Chapter 1: "Yo, I'm Bailey Pickett"

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If you've ever lived in a small town, you'll be familiar the suffocating fear that you may never go anywhere or see anything else. That's exactly how I felt towards the end of tenth grade. Aside from those three days in Florida, I had spent my entire 16 years in Kettlecorn, Kansas, a town so small that if you blink while passing you'll find yourself caught up in the hustle and bustle of Kettlepod. School bored me, my controlling boyfriend Moose got on my nerves, and the summer—not to mention the rest of my life—stretched out before me as an endless blur of hog swilling and corn shucking.

When I discovered the Seven Seas High brochure in my guidance counsellor's office, I knew it was time for a major change. With my 4.0 grade point average, I easily qualified for a scholarship. The only problem was, all the girls' spots were filled for the upcoming school year. So, without telling my parents, I applied as a boy. Since my name is Bailey and I played on the boys' baseball team, I figured passing myself off as a boy would be a cinch. My acceptance soon arrived, I dumped Moose and at the beginning of September, I filled a suitcase with hand-me-downs from my brothers and bid farewell to Kettlecorn.

Mom travelled down to Miami to see me off. As soon as we boarded the _S.S. Tipton_, an amazing 15-deck luxury cruise ship, I was eager for her to leave.

"Oh, but, Bailey, don't you need me to sign the forms?" she asked, watching students and their parents in the check-in line for Seven Seas High on the Plaza Deck.

"I got it, Mom," I insisted, trying not to sound rude. We said our "I love you's" and "Good-byes," and then she was gone. I ducked into the nearest women's washroom wearing a red dress and my hair in pigtails. Ten minutes later I sauntered out in a baggy plaid hoodie, a yellow T-shirt, jeans, and my baseball cap.

I was ready to start my new life.

[***]

Zack was already there when I arrived at Cabin 8-102 in a hallway clearly marked "Boys' Wing." The cabin was pretty small, with two beds, two desks, two bookshelves, and a door leading presumably to a bathroom. In the middle stood Zack, and he appeared to be unpacking—if this meant flinging stuff randomly. "Yo, I'm Bailey Pickett," I announced in my gruffest Kansas accent, as a towel sailed past my head. "S'up?"

As soon as he turned around, I knew my plan was in trouble.

I had _not_ expected to have a hot roommate—I mean that only happens in lame teen rom-coms, right? But no, Zack was definitely hot. Shaggy blond hair, blue-green eyes, and a smirky smile that lit up his whole face. I even remember what he wore that day, a casual yellow dress shirt, and green cargo shorts.

"Hey, brosef, what's going on? He walked over to me, sidestepping strewn clothes. The cabin was tiny so he didn't have far to go. "Zack Martin." Then he swung a fist toward me.

Automatically I shrieked and jumped away. I have no idea what made me think my new roommate was about to punch me. All I can plead is temporary hot guy–induced insanity.

Zack stared at me. Up close, he was even more attractive. Then I realized what he meant. "Oh, right, fist pound." I knocked my fist against his in what I hoped was an aggressive way. He seemed to buy it.

"What a mess," I couldn't help exclaiming. With five brothers, I'm used to mess, believe me. But this was extreme.

"You're not one of those neat freaks, are you?" Zack demanded. "Because I've dealt with one of those before."

"No, man," I tried to smile reassuringly. "I'm just one of the guys." I began to unpack, wondering how everything was going to fit into one small dresser and closet.

Both Zack's and my eyes widened as he reached into my suitcase and pulled out a polka-dotted bikini. I'd tossed it in at the last minute figuring I could always sunbathe on another part of the ship.

I had to think quickly. "That's my girlfriend's." I snatched back the bikini, hoping he would accept this.

"Well, I didn't think it was yours." _Thank goodness._ "What's your girl like?" he asked then.

"She's very intelligent, and she's got a _great_ personality." To me this seemed more appealing than "hayseed hottie," which is what Moose always called me.

Zack apparently disagreed. "Arf, arf," he commented, sounding half sympathetic/half sarcastic.

Instantly I felt less attracted to him. _He's just another wannabe fratboy who only cares about a girl's looks_, I decided. _Just as well. The last thing I need is to spend the next eight months drooling over my roommate._ With that, I pulled out a long rope from which to hang the massive curtain I'd borrowed from Grammy.

Zack clearly misinterpreted this gesture. "Woah, dude, I didn't meant to offend you."

"Oh no, I just thought I'd hang a rope to divide up the room," I explained, attaching the rope to the porthole window. "I like my privacy."

"Aww, you _are_ one of those neat freaks," Zack groaned.

"No, no," I protested as I dug in my suitcase again. "I'm _real_ easy-going." I thrust a sheet of paper at him. "Here's the bathroom schedule." I'd spent hours mapping out time slots and bathroom activities to ensure our paths wouldn't cross at inopportune moments.

"Ummm... not sure I can 'go' on schedule," said Zack with a frown.

I'd thought of that, too. "It helps if you eat bran."

Zack continued to look over at the schedule, then paused to scratch his back with... my hairbrush!

Overcome with disgust, I flung down the curtain and headed for the door. "I cannot _believe_ you used my hairbrush to scratch your back," I growled as I stomped down the hallway. Yet underneath my revulsion, I was hugely relieved. Zack and I were complete opposites. And I'd always thought the "opposites attract" theory was hogwash.

"Oh, come on," Zack called after me. "You're worse than my brother!" Briefly I wondered if this brother was also a student at Seven Seas High. And if so, was he anything like Zack?

I soon had my answers.

[***]

After lunch, the 30 students of Seven Seas High gathered on the Plaza Deck for a tour of the school facilities. While we were waiting for our teacher, Ms. Tutweiller, Zack introduced me to Cody, who turned out to be his identical twin. All three of us were starting eleventh grade.

"Hey, Bailey," said Cody, shaking my hand enthusiastically. "It's great to meet you."

"Nice to meet you, too." I replied. Right away I could tell he was the less obnoxious one. Cody has a sweet smile but a slight nerdiness that makes him more cute than hot.

If Zack and I were opposites, Cody and Woody were even more so. Woody is a lumbering goofy guy with a bushy 'fro, a wacky sense of humour and some unusual "talents." "I can fart 'Stairway to Heaven,'" he bragged, after Cody introduced us.

For a short moment—and I do mean short—I actually wished I had gotten Woody as a roommate. Zero sexual tension there. (Having five brothers also means I'm plenty used to marathon farting. Just a pop a clothespin on your nose and you're good to go.)

"See, I told you he farts classic rock." Cody looked at Zack with a pained expression.

"No worries, buddy," Zack said, putting an arm around Cody. "I wouldn't want you to run out of your precious lilac air freshener."

Cody slapped away Zack's arm, but he still looked happy. Unbeknownst to Woody and me, they had agreed to trade roommates so Cody wouldn't have to deal with Woody and his gassy habits. How differently things might have turned out if this plan had followed through.

London Tipton pranced up to us, looking like an exotic Asian princess in her designer outfit. Her purse alone probably cost more than a farmhouse in Kettlecorn. London is a close friend of the twins. Zack and Cody used to live at the swanky Tipton Hotel in Boston, owned by London's father, a gazillionaire businessman and head of Tipton Industries. Their mom is the hotel's lounge singer. London may be an heiress, but "airhead" is a far more suitable term. Her charms hadn't had a chance to grow on me yet.

"Hey, Cody! Hey, Zack!" she greeted her old friends. Then she spotted me. "Hey, hideously dressed freak I don't know!"

Ms. Tutweiller, a perky, pretty redhead, arrived then. "Good afternoon, students," she said cheerfully. "It's wonderful to meet all of you. Let's get this tour started."

[***]

Zack, Cody, Woody, and I were back in our respective cabins less than two hours later, drenched in octopus ink. Zack and Woody had had the bright idea to feed the octopus in the science lab. The octopus had _not_ been pleased.

That's when everything changed.

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**A/N: Thanks for the positive reviews! Hope you like this next installment. This chapter and next one feature some key scenes from the first episode and introduce the characters and their interactions leading up to the hot tub incident. Stay tuned...**


	3. Chapter 2: It'll Be Our Little Secret

**Chapter 2: "It'll Be Our Little Secret"

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"Come on, how long does it take for one guy to rinse off?" Zack complained after I'd been in the bathroom for 15 minutes, scrubbing away octopus ink and changing into a graffiti-covered hoodie and a green star-fish patterned t-shirt.

"Well excuse me for moisturizing," I snapped without thinking. "Which I need to do after I shave," I added hastily in my deepest voice.

"Shave what?" Zack, who was still wearing his ink-stained clothes, peered at me as I stepped out of the bathroom. "You're like one of them hairless cats."

This observation worried me. How long would it take everyone else at Seven Seas High to notice my complete and permanent lack of facial hair?

Zack went into the bathroom, and moments later I heard the shower start up. I looked at my reflection in my dresser mirror. A wisp of hair had slipped out from under my baseball cap. Since the coast was clear, I took off the cap and shook out my long reddish-brown hair.

"Hey, did you see my soap on a–woah," I whirled around to see Zack standing in the bathroom doorway.

"Dude, you need a haircut," he chuckled.

"Uh, I can explain," I stammered, my thoughts a jumble.

"Please tell me the explanation is that you're a girl." Zack took a step a closer to me. "Because I'm strangely attracted to you right now."

I felt my cheeks burn. In spite of the horrifying situation, my own attraction to him was flaring up again. "All right, all right, I'm a girl," I confessed, unable to think of a plausible lie. Taking a deep breath, I spilled my guts about how I'd applied to Seven Seas High as a boy, and how waiting until next year to apply as girl had not been an option.

"I can't go home now, I just can't. You have to promise you won't tell _anyone_ I'm a girl!" I twisted my hair back up under my cap and knelt in front of Zack, who was sitting on my bed now. Any remaining shreds of my dignity evaporated. "Please, please, I'm begging you." I grabbed his hand in a final act of desperation.

Zack flashed a smile that would have made my knees wobble if I hadn't already been sitting on them, and patted my hand. "Don't worry, it'll be our little secret."

The door suddenly flew open. "Woody said he's willing to trade room–" Cody strode in, then stopped short when he saw Zack and me with our hands clasped. "Why are you guys holding hands?" he asked with a very puzzled expression.

Zack and I jumped to our feet. "Uh, secret handshake," he offered, and we both mimed a series of mismatched hand movements. I even snapped my fingers. _Totally lame_.

Before Cody could respond, Zack said, "Oh, by the way, I am _not_ trading roommates!" He shoved Cody out of the cabin and shut the door in his face.

If I hadn't been consumed with relief, I would have felt sorry for Cody.

After dinner, Zack, Cody, Woody, and I went up to the game room on the Sky Deck for some "guy" time.

"Why didn't you want to trade roommates?" Cody asked Zack. His feelings were clearly hurt by this turn of events.

"We figured opposites attract," Zack said, shrugging.

I quickly agreed. "And by opposites, he means, like clean and messy, not like boy and girl." OK, it was time for me to shut up.

Zack came to my rescue. "Why don't we go play some pool and let Cody and Woody work out their issues?" He nudged me toward the pool table.

"We have issues?" Woody asked Cody, sounding devastated.

"No, no, no," Cody protested but was too honest to keep up the lie. "Yes," he admitted sadly. _Good thing Cody isn't my roommate_, I thought as I lined up my first shot. _He would never be able to keep my identity a secret_.

Zack leaned in to help me position the cue. "Thanks, Zack," I said. This time my knees did wobble.

"Why can't we get along like that?" Woody whined at Cody, then went off in a huff.

Cody looked over Zack and me. "What _are_ you doing?" he questioned.

We sprang apart. Zack resorted to "How 'bout them Patriots?" and I chimed in with a lame "Yeah!"

London walked into the game room. "I hate this stupid sea school," she grumbled. "And I hate this stupid boat."

Zack pointed to one of my favourite arcade games. "Hey, the Galaxy Raider game is open!"

"I love this stupid boat!" London cheered. "Dibs on the gold headphones. They match my outfit!"

All hell broke loose shortly after that. Zack, Cody, London, and I were deep into Galaxy Raider when a live boat drill began. We didn't hear the test announcement, only the ship's foghorn sounding three times—the "sinking ship" signal.

I totally screamed like a girl as we scrambled around searching for lifejackets, but luckily nobody noticed. We were all screaming.

"Rich people first," London bellowed, shoving me aside, as the four of us tried to pummel our way through an exit door. Her force sent me sprawling. Zack, Cody, and London tumbled forward.

As I lay facedown on the deck, wondering if any bones were broken, I heard shouts and splashing from below. "We fell overboard!" That sounded like Zack. "Why is the ocean so hot?" Definitely London.

"Probably because it's a hot tub," replied the dry, cranky voice of Mr. Moseby, the ship manager. So they were safe after all.

I looked around cautiously, aware my hair was flopping in the breeze. The Sky Deck was deserted. My baseball cap sat a few feet away. When I was satisfied I was still in one piece (which was only _slightly_ disappointing because a personal injury lawsuit against London would have been worth millions), I got hold of my cap, stuffed my hair back underneath, and went to find the nearest stairs. _Whew, that was close_.

I must have taken a wrong turn because it took me ages to find my way back to the cabin. The _S.S. Tipton_ is actually bigger than Kettlecorn. I trekked across four different decks, and up and down countless sets of stairs, before I found myself in our narrow hallway. By then I was tuckered out and ready for another shower.

Cabin 8-102 was empty. I threw my baseball cap and hoodie onto my bed and began to pull off my sweaty t-shirt.

At that moment, Zack stepped out of the bathroom, wearing only a towel. I'm sure my eyes bugged out and my jaw dropped. "Oh hey, Bailey," he said casually. "Where were you?"

"I, uh..." I mumbled, trying to look away. My cheeks were flaming again. Dizziness threatened to overwhelm me. "I got lost."

A noxious gassy smell interrupted my swooning and we heard a knock at the door. "Zack!" It was Cody. "Are you _sure_ you don't want to trade roommates?"

At this Zack and I began to laugh. We laughed and laughed until we both fell onto my bed. My secret was safe. Hopefully it would stay that way.

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**A/N: This chapter is where the plot spins off from the series and Bailey begins to live her secret double life. Thanks for reading and let me know what you think so far. Xoxoxo – Ellie. **


	4. Chapter 3: The Octopus Strikes Again

**Chapter 3: The Octopus Strikes Again

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True to his word, Zack treated me like I was just one of the guys whenever we were around Cody, Woody, London, and the rest of our classmates. And I tried not to gaze dreamily at him whenever we were alone in our cabin. I kept reminding myself that I'd come to Seven Seas High to _be_ a boy, _not_ to get involved with one.

However, it didn't take long for things to heat up between Zack and me.

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Ms. Tutweiller assigned a frog dissecting project in our second biology lab, which should have been against her better judgment. A roomful of teenagers and a bunch of dead frogs... what could possibly go wrong?

Zack and I had been partners for the first lab, but this time I chose to work with Cody. Unlike Zack, who had yet to take the shrink-wrap off his textbooks, Cody is a dedicated student. I didn't want to risk letting my grades slip—and I definitely didn't want to be anywhere near Woody wielding dissecting tools.

"So, did you decide you don't want to fail biology?" Cody asked me as we set up our apparatus. "Or do you just not trust Woody with a scalpel and forceps?"

I laughed. "All of the above." I still didn't know Cody that well. Whenever we all hung out together, Zack took the spotlight, cracking jokes—mostly at Cody's expense—and regaling us with tales about terrorizing the guests and staff at the Tipton Hotel.

Despite my efforts to cultivate a macho persona, I let Cody do the dissecting. "Look at the mesentery and the pancreas," he said in a fascinated tone, slicing away at our poor defenceless frog. "And check out the oviducts and cloaca."

I was writing down our observations when Mr. Moseby walked in. Although he's responsible for the whole ship, he's often in our area—as though he expects to find trouble. But I guess you can't really blame him. He used to be the manager of the same Tipton Hotel where the twins lived. Zack told me that when he and Cody arrived at Seven Seas High, Mr. Moseby jumped overboard.

"May I speak to you for a minute, Ms. Tutweiller?" asked Mr. Moseby, dapper in his navy blue blazer, with an immaculately folded pocket hanky, and white sailor shorts that look even whiter against his dark skin. He took in the sight and smell of pickled frog guts, grimaced and added, "In the staff lounge."

"Of course," said Ms. Tutweiller, gathering up her purse. "Class, I'll be right back."

"Get me a triple-shot, non-fat cinnamon twist latte with extra foam and coconut sprinkles," London called after her. London acts like everyone is her own personal servant.

As soon as Mr. Moseby and Ms. Tutweiller had left, the mayhem began.

"Hey Cody, check THIS out!" Cody and I both looked up just as Zack thrust a pair of freshly dissected frog's legs into Cody's face.

Cody backed away with a shriek, sending his chair flying. "Zack, stop it!" He sounded like a girl. I bit my tongue to avoid letting out any girlie shrieks of my own. I learned that lesson on Day 1.

"You look just like Maddie and Esteban when they thought you were the cursed mummy of Queen Qui Qui," Zack jeered as he chased Cody, waving the frog's legs. Most of Zack's stories starred Maddie the candy counter girl, Esteban the bellhop, London, and of course poor, long-suffering Mr. Moseby.

"Oh, that was hilarious!" London hooted. "But you had to be there," she added dismissively to her lab partner Addison Cartwright, a lanky girl whose dad also ran a multinational corporation.

Then Zack tripped over Cody's chair and slammed into the aquarium, knocking it over. I happened to be closest one to the aquarium. A tidal splash hit me, along with various flora and fauna—and the octopus.

"Zack, look what you did!" I yelled, as the mushy creature flopped about in my lap spewing black ink onto my clothes. I couldn't believe I was being inked for a second time.

Cody scooped the octopus off me. "You're such an idiot," he snapped at Zack, who just stood there laughing his head off with Woody. Anger swelled up in me at this immature behaviour. It reminded me of the lugheads back in Kettlecorn.

"I'm gonna go get a mop," I said between gritted teeth and marched out of the lab.

Ms. Tutweiller had pointed out the nearby cleaning supplies closet on our first-day tour. She must have known we were going to need it. I yanked open the door and began to root around for a mop and bucket.

"Bailey, I'm sorry." Mop in hand, I turned to see Zack standing next to me. I could tell he was trying to look apologetic, but his lips were quirking into their trademark grin. "I was just kidding around."

"Leave me alone, Zack. Just go." As much as I wanted to stay furious with him, my resolve was fizzling. It was too hard to feel annoyed with those daredevilish eyes sparkling at me. He leaned closer, and the closet shut behind him.

"Zack..." My voice trailed off. Our faces were inches apart. I'm not even sure who kissed whom first. Suddenly we were all over each other, right there in the supplies closet, breathless and eager, tongues entangling, hands in each other's hair. His mouth tasted like chocolate ice cream from the dessert buffet.

"What in the world is going on here?" Ms. Tutweiller's enraged cry rang out from the lab, startling us apart. A spray bottle fell from above and clonked my head.

Woody's voice piped up next. "Hey, where are Zack and Bailey?"

I giggled and let my forehead drop onto Zack's shoulder. If only they knew...

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**A/N: Every love story needs some secret action in a closet, right? : )) Big thanks to you guys for reading, stay tuned for what happens next. I have lots of ideas for the rest of the story, but if there's anything you'd really like to see, just let me know. Reviews and suggestions always welcome. Xoxoxo – Ellie**


	5. Chapter 4: Cheerleaders,Burritos &Bikini

**Chapter 4: Cheerleaders, Burritos, and the Bikini

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Now you know how Zack and I got together. Apparently those theorists knew what they were talking about when they declared that opposites attract. Soon Zack and I were spending a lot of time together. And by that I mean as much time as we could without arousing the suspicions of Cody, Woody, Mr. Moseby, and everyone else at Seven Seas High.

I've never lived a double life before. It's impossible to keep a secret of any kind in a small town. _Everyone_ gets in your business. Until I applied to Seven Seas High as a boy, my biggest lie was telling my mom I'd cleaned out the chicken coop when I hadn't.

Luckily Zack has plenty of experience scheming and sneaking around from his escapades at the Tipton Hotel. But we've still had a few close calls...

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Woody confronted Zack and me one morning as we were leaving our cabin. "Did you guys have a pillow fight last night?" he demanded. "I heard all this giggling and stuff."

"We were watching _Cheerleader Pillowfights: Part 10_ on Bailey's laptop" Zack replied, proving he is a quick thinker despite his D-average in school. "Seriously, young Woodmite, it's the best one in the series."

"Those chicks are _real_ hot," I contributed, without missing a beat.

Woody appeared to accept this. "Why don't _we_ ever watch _Cheerleader Pillowfights_?" he sulked when Cody joined us a few moments later. "I'm tired of all your nature documentaries. Especially the one about barnacle reproduction."

Cody's cheery morning expression drooped. "I thought you liked those. That documentary won an Aquatic Research Merit Award."

"OK, see you guys at breakfast!" said Zack, rolling his eyes, and we hurried off, leaving Cody to defend the beauty and wonder of arthropod courtship.

[***]

Woody was also responsible for the next awkward encounter.

On the last Friday night in September, a huge Mexican buffet was held on the Fiesta Deck. Cody had been dreading it all week because Woody had promised to wow us with "In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida"—a classic rock tune that's even longer than "Stairway to Heaven."

"Can I stay with you and Bailey tonight?" Cody begged Zack, watching Woody inhale burritos and refried beans as though he were preparing for a famine. "I'll sleep on the floor. Heck, I'll even sleep in the bathtub."

_Uh oh... _surely Zack wouldn't condemn his own twin brother to an all-night Woody symphony. Then Woody, who was sitting next to me at our table, spoke up. "Zack, are you playing footsies with me?" he asked, bean bits flying in all directions.

I dropped my burrito (suppressing the icky knowledge that Woody has eight toes on his left foot), and Zack choked so hard that he sprayed a mouthful of cactus soda across the table and Cody had to pound his back several times. "I thought you were Addison," he spluttered when he could finally speak. He shot me a sideways glance, and I knew he'd meant to play footsies with me.

Across the table, Addison batted her long mascara-coated lashes at Zack and tossed her light brown hair over her shoulder. "Ooooh, Zack, I'm so flattered."

I had a sudden urge to throw my burrito at her.

"I think he likes you," London said to Addison loudly. "Zack and Addison sitting in a tree, K-I-" Here she broke off, looking confused. I swear, that girl is dumber than a haystack.

"Here comes Mr. Moseby," said Zack, who had recovered by now. Mr. Moseby was indeed striding toward us. "Cody, maybe he'll let you stay in the storage room on the lower deck—you know, the one with the rats and barnacle poison."

Mr. Moseby arrived at our table. "That would be a '_no_,'" he said, enunciating every syllable. "Nobody is changing rooms or going anywhere. I've got my eye on you two hooligans." He glared at the twins, then at Woody and me. "Make that, you _four _hooligans."

Everything I'd eaten at dinner flip-flopped in my stomach. If Mr. Moseby caught Zack and me, he'd probably kick us out of Seven Seas High. _Bad. Very, very bad. _And I'd be handed a one-way ticket back to Kettlecorn. _Even worse._

[***]

In case you're wondering that ended up happening that night, Woody ate so much that he got sick and had to spend the night in the ship's infirmary. Naturally Cody, Zack, and I were all relieved for our own assorted reasons.

[***]

A third hair-raising incident stands out.

Cody stuck his head into Cabin 8-102 one evening in mid-October. "Hey, Bailey, can I borrow your digital compass?"

I had grown used to him dropping by all the time. "No problem," I said, digging in my desk drawer for the compass. I handed it over, hoping (with a small twinge of guilt) that he'd leave then.

But Cody had other ideas. "Zack, are you _studying_?" he gasped.

Zack was also at his desk. I'd finally persuaded him to unwrap his textbooks. "Well, if I'm going to fulfill my lifelong dream of becoming a racecar driver slash secret agent, I can't be a total slacker," he replied, putting his feet up on the messy desktop.

"So I won't have to do all your homework for the rest of the semester?" Cody continued to marvel. "What will I do with all that free time?" Suddenly his eyes narrowed. "Wait a minute, there's a girl, isn't there? You're studying to impress some girl." He turned back to me. "Zack once learned all 250 words in a vocabulary unit just to impress Maddie."

My heartbeat thudded. Zack and Cody knew each so well. Cody's twin telepathy was obviously telling him that Zack was hiding something. Uneasily, I looked at Zack, wondering what he'd say.

Just as Zack opened his mouth to reply, Cody reached down into a heap of clothing on the floor. "I knew it, there _is_ a girl!" He brandished something polka-dotted at Zack.

_Oh crap_, it was the top half of my bikini.

"Bailey, you sly dog!" Zack exclaimed, his face breaking out into a full-blown smirk. He grabbed the bikini from Cody and flung it straight at me. "Who's the girl?"

"Yeah, who is she?" asked Cody, joining the inquest.

"Ummm…" The twins looked at me expectantly, while I alternated between scorching humiliation and sheer panic. As soon as a coherent response popped into my head, I ran with it: "A gentleman doesn't kiss and tell."

Not stopping for breath, I plowed on with "Damn, I think I left something in the lab." And then I just plain ran.

I fled all the way up to the Lido Deck, where I collapsed onto a lounger. The bikini scene replayed itself in my head like an episode from a bad reality TV show. _What am I doing?_ I asked myself. _How much longer can we hide this from Cody?_

Other questions surfaced. What exactly was going on between Zack and me? Was it an away-from-home adventure, a "forbidden" fling—or something more? I'd only had one serious boyfriend, Moose, and we'd broken up just a few weeks ago. Did that mean I was on the rebound?

And what about Zack's feelings for me? He'd mentioned dating various girls in Boston, but never any long-term girlfriend. Then I remembered Cody's mention of Maddie and studying. I knew Zack had had a crush on Maddie, but being three years older, she'd only ever seen him as a cute kid. Now that Zack was actually doing homework—possibly for the first time in his life—that had to mean he was really into me, didn't it?

The sight of Ms. Tutweiller jolted me from my thoughts. She was walking by herself, slowly, as though she had nowhere special to be. After a few more steps, she stopped and rested her head on the deck railing, looking out over the Atlantic. Her aloneness made think me of my BFFs, Jamie-Beth and Carrie-Lynn. They're the only people in Kettlecorn I actually miss, aside from Mom and Dad and my brothers.

I realized it was close to our 10:30 curfew and got up to leave. Whatever questions I had weren't going to be answered while I was up here on my own, anyway.

[***]

Cody approached me at breakfast the next morning. "Bailey, you are one classy guy," he said earnestly, placing a hand on my shoulder. "I really admire your respect for privacy. Whoever owns that bikini is a lucky girl."

_What a sweet thing to say_, I thought. _I just hope he's right_.

* * *

**A/N: I had lots of fun writing this chapter and thinking up awkward, embarrassing situations for Bailey and Zack that would showcase his smooth-talking, strategizing skills and give the other characters some involvement. Thanks again for all the reviews. I appreciate all the feedback! Xoxoxo – Ellie **


	6. Chapter 5: Queen of the World

**Chapter 5: "I'm the Queen of the World!"

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I've been tossing and turning for ages now. Sighing, I climb out of bed and pad over to the porthole, careful not to trip over any of the stuff Zack has left lying around—a skateboard, monogrammed golf clubs, video games. Not that he'd wake up. Zack is a pretty heavy sleeper.

All I can see out the window is darkness and a smudge of light where the moon is hiding behind clouds. I wish a sunset could magically appear. If there's anything I've learned in three months at sea, it's that I'm a sucker for sunsets.

* * *

Zack and I celebrated two months aboard the _S.S. Tipton_ on the Starlight Deck, the ship's top-most deck. We'd also almost reached our two-month anniversary (although I wasn't about to say so).

"This is soooo amazing," I sighed, gazing at the sky. The ship had just left a port of call on the coast of Mexico. The early November sky was awash with pinks, purples, and oranges. The sun blazed like a ball of gold as it sank toward the sea. "Rows of cornfields have nothing on a Caribbean sunset, believe me."

"Neither does the Boston skyline," said Zack, sliding his hands into my pockets.

I wished I was wearing a pretty dress instead of ratty overalls and yet another bulky hoodie. That was the only thing wrong with this picture. Determined to revel in the moment despite the wardrobe glitch, I climbed up onto the deck railing. Zack wrapped his arms around my waist, quiet for once.

As I stretched out my arms, feeling young, alive, and free, a freakishly cheesy thought occurred to me.

Zack must have read my mind. "Go for it," he said, tickling my ear. "I know you want to."

And so I did. I took a deep breath and yelled out "I'm the Queen of the World!"

Embarrassment immediately flushed over me. "I am _such_ a geek," I said, turning to Zack.

"Yes, you are, sweet thang." Zack agreed, the corners of his mouth twitching like he was trying not to laugh outright at me. "But you're a hot geek." He pulled me close and our lips melded in a mind-blowing kiss that electrified every particle in my body and the space around us. At some point my cap blew off and my hair fluttered out in the wind. I didn't care. Nobody was going to see us up here.

_I am falling in love with Zack_, I thought, as the sunset hues, salty air, and deck lights swirled around us and the tip of the sun glowed on the horizon. _So what if we get caught? This is totally worth it_.

* * *

Sitting back on my bed, I twirl one of the roses I received a few hours ago, still smiling at the sunset memory. That was definitely the most romantic night of my life—way better than any hayride with Moose.

But in the grand scheme of things, it wasn't the most eventful night so far on the _S.S. Tipton_. No, that's a toss-up between the Starlight Follies fiasco and tonight.

* * *

**A/N: Could any cruise ship story be complete without a shout-out to the most famous cruise ship ever? I hope you liked this chapter. It's a little shorter than the others, but I wanted to give Zack and Bailey a special moment on its own. As always, reviews welcome. Thanks for reading! Xoxoxo – Ellie**


	7. Chapter 6: A Really Bad Plan

**A/N: This chapter is slightly longer than the others, but I really wanted to write an alternate version of the Starlight Follies episode, so here goes...

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**Chapter 6: "A Really Bad Plan"

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A bunch of students were crowded around Zack and Cody when I got to Geography late one morning last week. I'd overslept and rushed to class on my own. "So just then, down comes her stiletto heel," Zack was saying enthusiastically. "_This_ close to our faces."

Cody thrust his foot up onto Darwin's desk as though to demonstrate. "This close," he repeated. "It was the greatest experience of my life!"

"I can't believe the security guard wouldn't let me in," Woody griped.

"You went to the Starlight Follies to stare at scantily clad women?" I burst out. The Starlight Follies is a restricted dance show in the Neptune Lounge on the Gala Deck. As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I knew I sounded like a disapproving girlfriend, or even worse, a mom. _Definitely_ not like "one of the guys."

Cody switched from bubbling to babbling. "No!" he exclaimed, exchanging a look with Zack that could only be described as guilty. "What? No! _I_ went for the music. The band was _awesome_."

"The Ira Dinkelman Combo?" I asked, raising an eyebrow—a trick I'd learned from Zack.

"Off the heezy," Cody insisted sheepishly.

Well, I had to give Cody props for trying. Which was more than I could say for Zack, who had sidestepped this uncomfortable conversation to chat with Woody.

Ms. Tutweiller walked in then and we all took our seats. "Good morning, class," she chirped, beaming at us. "Isn't it a lovely day?"

London caught my eye and we smiled knowingly at each other. We had a pretty good idea why Ms. Tutweiller was in such a cheery mood.

I felt a tap on my shoulder. "Sorry about the showgirls," Cody whispered from his seat behind me. "I wanted to invite you, but Zack said you're this rabid male feminist."

This made me laugh, and my urge to scold Zack about breaking curfew to watch showgirls (while I was sleeping, no less!) waned. I knew Zack was just hanging out with his brother, doing typical guy stuff. My own brothers are always sneaking into Jiggly Jilly's, Kettlepod's only strip club.

We turned our attention to the front of the room where Zack was presenting his term report.

"Vegas, baby," he announced, holding up a deck of cards. "The place to be! It's all about the cards, though—you need to know when to hold 'em, when to fold 'em, and when to deal 'em." The cards flew out of his hand and scattered around Ms. Tutweiller, who was sitting on her desk with her long legs crossed. Halfway through picking them up, he called Cody for help.

As I watched Zack and Cody scrabble on the floor, I had to shake my head. Clearly Zack's interest in schoolwork hadn't lasted long.

"Guys, guys, so the showgirl with the great legs was Tutweiller," Zack informed Woody and me when the four of us gathered at the Easy Squeezy smoothie bar where we chill between classes. As much as I disliked hearing Zack praise another woman's legs, I must admit Ms. Tutweiller has that naughty librarian thing down pat.

"No way," gasped Woody.

"Way," confirmed Zack. Cody nodded supportively.

I took a sip of my yummy banana fofana smoothie. "But she couldn't have been in the show last night. She was on a date with Mr. Moseby." London and I had spotted them strolling on the Promenade Deck around eight o'clock. I'd spent the evening with London, partly to help her with biology homework and partly because I just wanted to hang out with a girl for a change. London mostly filed her nails and bragged about her fabulous life ("Yay, me!"), but she was better than no one. And we'd had fun tailing Mr. Moseby and Ms. Tutweiller until they disappeared into an elevator.

"Did you see her?" Zack asked me.

"Well, London and I were following them," I defended. "But then we lost them."

"Then that's not proof," Zack declared. "She was in the show. We saw her anklet." It seemed the hot showgirl wore the same heart charm anklet as Ms. Tutweiller.

Addison sashayed past us. "Hi, Zack," she drooled, winking and waving.

Zack waved back to her. "Hey, Addison," he said with his usual charming grin.

I seriously wanted to dump my smoothie down the front of Addison's flowery top.

Mr. Moseby arrived on deck, distracting me from my violent impulses. "Ms. Tutweiller, may I talk to you in private for a moment, please?" he asked as our teacher walked by.

Ms. Tutweiller was all smiles. "Well, of course, Mr. Moseby. Anything for you." They headed away, laughing and chattering.

London rushed up to us. "Are Moseby and Tutweiller off another date?" she asked excitedly.

My natural girlie impulses kicked in. "Yes! They're having a 'private' moment. She said she'd do anything for him."

Zack regained control of the discussion then, possibly to stop me from blowing my cover. "You know what, that's it," he decided, getting up from his stool at the smoothie bar. "We're going to go back to the show tonight and get you your proof."

A worried look flitted across Cody's face. "And how are you going to do that?" I asked.

"Don't worry, bab–buddy," said Zack, sliding his arms around London and me. "I've got a plan."

Yes, Cody definitely looked worried. I was worried, too. _Had Zack almost called me "baby" in front of our friends?_

[***]

"What other plans do you have?" Cody asked miserably, 12 hours later. "This is a bad plan. A _really_ bad plan."

He and London had just emerged from a suite across from the Starlight Follies' dressing room, to which Zack somehow had a keycard. They were decked out in full showgirl costumes—orange bodysuits with beaded tassels and poufy skirts, long gold gloves, red and orange feathered headdresses, and red feather boas. I tried not to notice that Cody made a pretty cute Starlight Folly.

"OK, so if Tutweiller is under one of those masks, we're right," said Zack to London and me, placing a hand on Cody's sequined shoulder. "And if she's not, then you're right and she's dating Moseby."

London was busy admiring herself in a mirror on the wall. She seemed to have forgotten all about the plan.

"Either way, _hating_ the plan," grumbled Cody. "Why do _I_ have to wear this stupid costume? Why not Bailey?" He turned to me accusingly. "You don't even shave."

"Um … because my huge man package would show," I blurted. The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them.

They all stared at me. London eyed me with new interest, Cody looked insulted and Zack mouthed "What?" like I was crazy. Which I probably was.

"And I could kick your ass," I added threateningly, hoping this would put an end to all ideas about me in a showgirl outfit.

"That's true," London said to me. "You could totally beat up Cody." Then she turned back to her reflection. "Wow, I look good in glitter!"

Zack stepped between Cody and me. "Like I _told_ you, Bailey is a hardcore feminist. The Starlight Follies are against his entire value system. Now fix your skirt and go already, Tyreesha." He shoved Cody toward the dressing room door.

"OK, I get it," muttered Cody, giving Zack a nasty look. "Bailey shouldn't have to compromise his principles for such a bad plan."

Once London and Cody had gone, Zack and I were alone in the hallway. He sidled up to me. "Hey, sweet thang," he said, leaning in for a kiss. "You'd look sooo hot as a showgirl."

"Not here," I hissed, pushing him away. "They'll be back any minute." I looked down at my watch. Zack had surprised me with it last weekend. It was a chunky man's watch, the kind that looks really cool on a girl. I loved it.

"How did you get a keycard for that suite, anyway?" I asked to change the subject.

Zack chuckled. "I took it from the front desk when Moseby wasn't looking and programmed it for the closest empty room. Cody and I 'borrowed' keycards all the time at the Tipton."

"Very impressive," I said. I actually was impressed. Another thought came to mind. "Hey, where's Woody?" We'd all sneaked out of our cabins separately and Woody still hadn't shown up.

"He was caught by the hall monitor. He's not very good at tiptoeing."

I laughed, imagining Woody skulking about in his flannel onesies. Then I checked my watch again. It was 11:00, time for the show to start. "London and Cody should be back by now."

Zack opened the door to the dressing room. It was completely empty. Cody was right—this _was_ a really bad plan.

"What should we do now?" I asked nervously. "Where could they be?"

"Maybe they went this way." Zack took off for a curtained corridor on the other side of the room and I followed reluctantly. I could already tell this wasn't going to end well.

"Hey, what are you boys doing back here?" a guy with a headset and clipboard barked as we skidded past him at the end of the corridor.

"Looking for our friends," I panted.

"There they are!" Zack yelled. He pointed to the guy's left and we ran in the opposite direction.

To my absolute horror, we were suddenly onstage in the middle of the Neptune Lounge. The Starlight Follies were frolicking among the audience—except for two wayward Follies at the corner of the stage. We recognized them immediately. "Found 'em," said Zack.

"What do we do?" I gulped, still in shock.

"Smile and sell it," he instructed with typical Zack-like confidence.

There was nothing left to do but channel my winning talent show performance from the last Miss Junior Mulch Pageant. I kick-stepped across the stage with Zack until we reached London and Cody (not an easy feat in heavy boots, let me tell you). A few people in the audience snickered. Maybe they thought our spectacle was part of the show.

"What are you guys doing out here?" I asked them. It was a reasonable question under the circumstances.

"Looking fabulous!" London hopped and kicked exuberantly like she was having the time of her life.

Cody, on the other hand, was clearly suffering. "No one is wearing an anklet," he reported, shaking his feather boa half-heartedly.

"Well, check under their face masks," said Zack. "We gotta hide, 'cuz there's Kirby." He pulled me down beside the stage, just as a large security guard materialized at the back of the lounge. Cody and London hurried to join the other dancers.

The rest of the show was too painful to watch. I covered my face and cowered among the Ira Dinkelman players until I heard Zack ask, "Hey Cody, have you found Ms. Tutweiller yet?"

"I did," answered London triumphantly.

"So which one is she?" I asked, though I didn't really care anymore. I just wanted to disappear.

"The one standing next to Moseby by the door." Oh yay, we were busted.

[***]

"That was such a bad plan!" I berated Zack when we were back in Cabin 8-102. My ears were ringing from Mr. Moseby and Ms. Tutweiller's lecture and the bass drum. Woody had betrayed us, Ms. Tutweiller had denied being both a showgirl and Mr. Moseby's date, and now the four of us had a week of detention to look forward to.

"Mr. Moseby and Ms. Tutweiller are going to be watching us like hawks," I continued furiously. "As if we needed to attract any more attention to ourselves. If I get expelled from Seven Seas High, I'll be lucky to get into Kettlepod Beauty School, much less an Ivy League institution." This prospect had disturbed me for awhile, even more than being sent back to Kettlecorn.

Zack stretched out on his bed. "Relax, Bailey. You're overreacting."

"Maybe you don't care about getting into a good college, but I do!" I fumed.

"Don't worry about it. Moseby and Tutweiller have enough to deal with. They'll forget about this in a couple of days. Trust me." Zack folded his hands behind his head, the picture of serenity.

I sat down on my bed and took off my boots. "I suppose you have a plan for that, too?"

Zack quirked an eyebrow at me. "Baby, I _always_ have a plan. Now, how 'bout that huge man package of yours?"

My anger began to disintegrate and I dissolved into giggles. "Oh my God, I can't believe I said that!"

As Zack's mouth closed over mine, I felt happy again. Maybe Zack was right, and Mr. Moseby and Ms. Tutweiller would leave us alone.

* * *

I get back in bed and pull the covers up my chin even though I'm not cold, squeezing my stuffed penguin Perry. Tears spring to my eyes when I think of everything that happened today. I hope I'm worrying about nothing, but I'm not so sure.

* * *

**A/N: So there you go—hopefully that wasn't too long. This chapter started out feeling like filler, but also turned into a way to show more of the characters' interactions and some of Bailey's anxieties about her new life on deck. "The Fairest of Them All" with the Universal Mini Miss Beauty Pageant is also one of my favourite TSLOZAC episodes, so consider it a tribute. Huge thanks to you guys for all the reviews and alerts. I'm glad you're enjoying the story! Xoxoxo – Ellie**


	8. Chapter 7: Who's Your Sweet Thang?

**A/N: Here is Chapter 7 re-uploaded due to tech issues. Cody and Bailey play their famous Pool Game of Symbolism...

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**Chapter 7: "Who's Your Sweet Thang?"

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I bounced into Cabin 8-102 this afternoon feeling chipper. I had just aced my last mid-term after studying for it all weekend. Now I was hoping Zack and I could go up to the Promenade Deck to watch the big limbo competition or play Putt Putt Golf. Maybe we'd even watch the sunset from the Starlight Deck again. Ever since our _Titanic_ moment, I'd felt like we were dating for real, not just roommates fooling around.

Zack was sprawled across our two beds typing on his laptop. I took off my baseball cap and leaned down so that my ponytail draped against his cheek. "Whatcha doin'?" I asked in my sweetest voice, putting my arms around him.

"Just writing an email," he replied. Then I froze. Right at the top of the screen I saw the words "Hey sweet thang."

"What the hell is this?" I demanded, pulling away roughly. "Who are you calling 'sweet thang'?"

"It's just an email to Maddie." He sounded completely normal.

Tears blurred my vision. "Why are you calling _her_ 'sweet thang'?"

He sat up and looked at me as though I were speaking in a foreign language. "Bailey, are you seriously upset about this? Maddie and I are just friends. You know that."

"So _why_ are you calling her 'sweet thang'?" I asked again. I was starting to sob, feeling all my fears about their history, us getting caught, and our whole crazy situation boil over, mixed with missing my friends in Kettlecorn. "Who's your 'sweet thang'—me or her?"

"Um, you are...?" Zack closed the laptop and put it aside. So he _was_ hiding something. This made me cry harder.

He turned back to me. "Lucky I was raised by a woman so this sort of irrational behaviour doesn't throw me."

You know the expression "I saw red"? Well, that was _exactly_ what I saw at that moment. "Go to hell, Zack!" I yelled. Grabbing my baseball cap, I jammed it over my head and shoved my ponytail underneath. Then I stormed out of our cabin.

I hadn't stormed two steps before I ran smack into Cody.

"Bailey, what's wrong?" he asked immediately, concern all over his face.

"Nothin'." I swiped at my cheeks, trying to hide my very unmanly tears. "I was just, uh, I was just benching some _really_ heavy weights." Yes, that sounded ridiculous, but in my flustered, heartbroken state, it was all I had. And now that I'd protected my "masculinity," I just wanted to find someplace where I could bawl my eyes out in peace.

It didn't look like this was going to happen, though, because Cody followed me down the hall, nattering about something. Once again I longed for a girlfriend on the ship. I hadn't even told Jamie-Beth and Carrie-Lynn the truth about how I got into Seven Seas High, or anything about Zack. As I said, keeping a secret in a small town is impossible. Whatever I told my friends would get back to my parents within minutes. And then the cow patty would really hit the windmill.

Cody and I were halfway up to the Sky Deck when I realized he was telling me a Tipton tale about London helping Maddie to train for gym class. Apparently lifting heavy weights had made Maddie cry, too.

Now was my chance to find out the truth about Maddie once and for all. "So, um, Maddie and Zack were really close, huh?"

Cody laughed. "Is that what he told you? He had a crush on her for like three years, but I think he always knew nothing would ever happen between them."

"Didn't he used to call her 'sweet thang'?" I felt a blush spread up my neck. Surely no guy would ever ask another guy such a pathetic question, but I had to know.

"Oh, that was just a nickname. I haven't heard my brother call anyone 'sweet thang' in ages. Maddie's in college now. In her last email she said she's reunited with the 'establishment puppet' she met at the Merit Scholar convention at the Tipton a few years ago. Supposedly opposites do attract."

"That is _such_ great news." I sagged against the wall with relief. So I'd overreacted to Zack's email. Then I noticed Cody looking at me strangely. "I mean, I just feel like I know Maddie personally after hearing so much about her," I added hastily.

"Wanna play pool?" Cody asked. We'd ended up in the game room.

"Sure." I reached for a cue and began to rack the pool balls.

Cody rummaged through his pockets until he found a protractor. He certainly carried an odd assortment of things—bear repellent, gamma ray deflector, sewing kit. "London always gets me to mend her clothes," he explained when he noticed me gawking. "And you never know when you might need to repel something unsavoury. It pays to be prepared. I learned that in Wilderness Scouts." He stated this last bit proudly.

"No kidding? I was a Wilderness Scout, too." Make that Wilderness _Girl_ Scout.

We played several games of pool, and before long I'd cheered up. Cody was really easy to talk to, and I discovered we have a lot more in common than just Wilderness Scouts. We were both spelling bee champions and valedictorians in middle school, we love to cook, and we hope to go to either Harvard or Yale. I was having a great time—until our conversation took an ugly turn.

"So, tell me, Bailey," he asked, around our sixth game, as he lined up the breaking shot. "Whatever happened to that bikini top I found in your cabin? I was totally sure Zack had something to do with it. He usually hits on all the girls."

I watched the pool balls scatter across the table, feeling my mood sink along with two striped balls. "He does?"

Cody took another shot. "I know he flirts with Addison, but I figured he would have gone out with at least half the girls at Seven Seas High by now. And some of the passengers."

An icy chill began to creep through me. Had my fratboy first impression of Zack been bang on? "Maybe he's found someone special?" I concentrated on lining up the next shot, struggling to keep my voice neutral.

At this Cody snorted with laughter and the cue slipped in my hand, knocking the cue ball off the table. "Have you _met_ my brother? As Zack himself once said, the only thing he can commit to is a cellphone plan."

My stomach knotted in dread as I placed the cue ball back on the table. _Is Cody basically telling me that my secret boyfriend is a sleazy skirt-chaser?_

"Why are you asking me all these questions?" Cody paused to measure his next shot with the protractor. "If Zack has met some special girl, you should know. You guys have been having quite the bromance since school started," he said, and I could hear the very slightest edge of bitterness to his voice.

"Um, are you OK with that?" I asked, feeling guilt heap onto the rest of my negative thoughts.

Cody shrugged and moved around to the other of the side of the table. "Sure, you're a cool guy, Bailey. Besides, Zack and I had to start going our separate ways eventually."

My hands were shaking so much that I couldn't play anymore. I looked at my watch, the one Zack gave me, and was amazed to see that it was 8:30. The sun had set hours ago. "Let's go eat," I said to Cody as brightly as I could. "The dinner buffet is about to close. And hey, dessert is on me, bro." It was the least I could do.

[***]

Zack was waiting for me when I got back to our cabin. "Here, babe," he said, holding out a huge bouquet of red roses. "I'm really sorry about the email thing."

I locked the door behind me and leaned against it, contemplating what I should do. The roses were gorgeous and their scent filled the cabin. I looked straight into Zack's eyes, studying every gold fleck in his blue-green irises. I wanted to believe he was sorry and really cared about me (and only me). But I kept hearing Cody's ominous words over and over again, like a stuck record—"the only thing he can commit to is a cellphone plan."

Zack smiled at me then, the same irresistible smile that always made me forget why I was mad at him, and I had to kiss him. "I'm sorry, too. I totally overreacted."

Now, staring up at the ceiling, I can't stop thinking about my talk with Cody up on the Sky Deck. I feel a new connection to him, like he's not just Zack's twin brother and a friend by default. I could really be myself with Cody—well, aside from having to pretend I'm a guy, of course. I had no idea we were so much alike. Our similarities highlight how different Zack and I are, and how different Zack and Cody are. Cody is sensible, organized, and adorably dorky. He's also not the type to be a player. And even though he's 10 minutes younger than Zack, he's much more mature emotionally. If only lazy, messy, irresponsible Zack were more like Cody.

_There's that troubling thought again. _

I roll over one last time, determined to stop worrying about whether I can truly trust Zack, whether I'm getting in over my head with this boy charade and our relationship—or whatever it is—and whether, in the middle of all this madness, I'm somehow developing feelings for Cody.

* * *

**A/N: This chapter brings us back to the scene in the Prologue with Bailey awake late at night in her and Zack's cabin. This chapter is also the last one that will be in flashback format. From here on, all events will take place in present-day format. The timeline matches up to December 2009, with the events in this chapter taking place on Monday, December 14. I'll also try to write some longer chapters. A huge thanks again for all the encouraging reviews. I hope you enjoyed this next installment. Xoxoxo – Ellie**


	9. Chapter 8: I'd Hate You Forever

**A/N: Just to recap, chapters now take place in present-day format. There might be a few more flashbacks for variety, but I'll be focusing on the present, so expect more detail and more conversations (and hopefully some longer chapters :)

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**Chapter 8: "I'd Hate You Forever"

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I wake up to the racket of someone banging on our door. "Zack, open this door!" Sounds like Cody. I've only had about two hours of sleep after all that reflecting and analyzing. My head hurts already. I reach over and start to shake Zack, who's still asleep. "Zack, door, Cody." At first he doesn't even stir. See, I told you he's a sound sleeper.

The pounding gets louder and the door rattles. "Zack, I mean it, open the door! NOW!" I didn't know mild-mannered Cody was capable of such fury.

Finally Zack opens his eyes and realizes something is going on. The next few moments fly by like a video on fast-forward. We yank our beds apart, Zack throws a sweatshirt and jeans to me, and I grab the roses and a baseball cap and run into the bathroom, bashing my big toe on the golf cart bag along the way.

I hear the cabin door click open and Zack say, "Hey, buddy, what's up?"

"Don't you 'hey, buddy' me!" Cody shouts. "I just tried to use my cash card at the smoothie bar and it was declined. Did you take my card and max it out?"

I can't believe my ears, and I'm even more horrified when Zack replies casually, "Oops, guess I forgot to mention that. But if it's any consolation, I maxed out my own card last week."

Now I hear scuffling noises and wonder if Cody has shoved Zack up against the wall. "Zack, that was all the money we had for food for the entire semester!"

"Well, why didn't you tell me that before I took your card?" Zack quips like the situation is a joke.

"Fred was nice to enough to print out the last five transactions for me, before he chopped up my card," Cody rages on. "What the hell did you buy yesterday at the Petal Pizzazz flower shop on the Plaza Deck?"

I look down at the bouquet I'm holding just as Zack answers, "Roses for Addison." I'm seeing red again, both literally and figuratively now. Of course, Zack has to lie about who got the flowers, but hearing Addison's name reminds me that Cody was right—Zack does flirt with her. And now I know he stole Cody's cash card to buy my roses. I drop them into the bathtub. They feel tainted. I guess every rose does have its thorn.

"What's going on, you guys?" Woody has joined the fray.

"Zack bankrupted my cash card!" Cody seethes, and I hear another rustle of paper. "Did you buy something for Addison at Lace & Satin, too?"

"No," says Zack, sounding offended. "Sometimes I just like to feel pretty."

OK, it's official—Zack can't take anything seriously. And he certainly hasn't given _me_ anything from Lace & Satin, a lingerie store also on the Plaza Deck. _Maybe he did buy a present for Addison._

Woody jumps back in. "I know _exactly_ what you mean."

I fall against the bathroom wall, gagging. I've grown to love Woody dearly, but not enough to welcome this image.

[***]

Mr. Moseby resolves the situation when he catches Zack and Cody fishing off the Sky Deck at lunch hour. He's had complaints about passengers' hats being whisked away by fishing hooks and wants to know if the twins have any thoughts on this.

"It's Zack's fault," Cody informs Mr. Moseby. "He used up all the money on our student cards for the entire semester. And now we're broke and hungry."

"Boys, we've known each other a long time," says Mr. Moseby pleasantly. "And as you know, I am nothing if not reasonable."

"So you'll put some money on our cards?" Zack asks hopefully.

Mr. Moseby laughs, managing to sound both gleeful and menacing. "_No_," he adds, almost as an afterthought. "I have a better idea."

And that's how Cody becomes the ship's towel boy and Zack becomes a bus boy at Easy Squeezy.

[***]

"I hate Zack, I hate Zack, I hate Zack," Cody is muttering when I drop by the towel station after dinner. "Oh, hi Bailey," he says, looking up from a mountain of towels on the counter. I'm immediately aware that the all-white towel boy uniform looks cute on him. Much more so than the Starlight Follies costume.

"How's your first shift going?" I ask. I still feel responsible for his maxed-out card and haven't spoken to Zack all day. I don't even know what to say to Zack. Glancing over at Easy Squeezy, I spot Addison sitting at the bar, giggling and fluffing her hair while Zack collects empty smoothie cups. He appears to be having a good time. My teeth automatically clench and I turn back to Cody.

He folds a towel, places it on the mountain and sighs gloomily. "This really sucks. My mom can't afford to buy Zack and me plane tickets to go back to Boston for Christmas. I was looking forward to visiting some ports of call in the Bahamas over the holidays, but thanks to Zack, I'm going to have to work the whole time."

"I'm sorry, man," I say honestly. "That does suck. I'll be here over the holidays, too. My parents can't afford for me to go back to Kettlecorn, either." Christmas is less than two weeks away now, but with all the distractions on deck I've hardly even thought about it, and the fact that it will be my first Christmas away from home. "Maybe we can still do something fun."

"I doubt it," says Cody despondently. "You heard us talking to Mr. Moseby at lunch. Zack and I are totally broke." He twists a towel with un-Cody-like viciousness. "Gosh, Zack really pisses me off sometimes."

_I know just how Cody feels. _

"Hey, towel boy!" hollers a fat hairy man from the hot tub. "Bring me a towel, will ya?"

A chorus of other passengers begins to demand towels. Heaving another sigh, Cody shuffles off carrying a stack of towels. "See you later, Bailey," he calls over his shoulder.

[***]

I confront Zack as soon as he walks into Cabin 8-102 after his shift at Easy Squeezy, dressed in his new uniform of light green shirt and khaki shorts.

"How could you do this to Cody?" I yell. "How could you steal his cash card? Cody is a saint, he's such a good brother to you. He goes along with all your plans and pranks, and you just walk all over him!"

"Look, I know my brother," says Zack, sounding irritated. "He won't hold this against me."

"Well, if you were my brother, I'd hate you forever," I spit. I remember the time my brother Brad set fire my hair on fire at the annual Pickett family bonfire. I refused to speak to him almost six months.

"You'd hate me?" Zack's eyes darken. He actually looks hurt.

Maybe "hate" is too harsh a word. "OK, maybe not forever," I concede. "But look at all this stupid stuff." I kick at a pile of junk on the floor. The mess has been really getting on my nerves lately. And now I know where it all came from. "What a waste of money!"

Zack's reply shocks me even more than the cash card revelation this morning. "I didn't just buy 'stupid stuff'," he retorts, and I realize I've never seen him angry before. "I spent most of my cash card money on dinner at that fancy restaurant on the Gala Deck, playing Putt Putt Golf with you and Woody, those stuffed penguins for your science project, your new watch, and all your banana fofana smoothies."

Then he slams out of our cabin, causing the "Go Hard or Go Home" poster to fall off the wall.

I sit on my bed trembling, bewildered that Zack has once again turned the tables on me. It's true, he did pay for everything he just mentioned, including the time we ate at the Neptune Room. That was our one and only actual date, while Mr. Moseby was away at a wedding. I'd felt so grown up, ordering the special of the day at a restaurant with balconies and ocean views instead of the Kettlepod Diner, which looks out onto the interstate highway. I actually have no idea how much our meal cost. But I never asked Zack to pay for it, or to buy anything for me, and it's not like I haven't paid for any of the stuff we've done together, or with our friends. To be honest, my own cash card balance is a little on the low side for mid-semester.

Regardless of how much money Zack has spent on me, he's also bought tons of things for himself. See Exhibit A—our cabin floor. _Oh wait, no, you can't see it_. And none of this changes the reality that he's careless with money _and_ that he flat-out stole Cody's cash card. I have every reason to be angry at Zack, don't I?

Another thought sticks in my mind and won't go away. Cody would never do anything so reckless or selfish, I just know it.

* * *

**A/N: Uh oh, is there trouble on this floating paradise? Will Bailey and Zack be able to work out their issues? Thanks to you guys for sticking with the story and keeping me inspired with your reviews. Xoxoxo – Ellie**


	10. Chapter 9: Let's Go Get a Smoothie

**Chapter 9: "Let's Go Get a Smoothie"

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**

The next two days are pretty crappy. With Zack and Cody working every day after school, Zack and I barely speaking to each other and things chilly between Zack and Cody, our quintet has kind of split up. Zack hangs out with Woody, Cody hangs out with London, and I mingle with Darwin and some of the other Seven Seas High students. They're all nice teens. _I could have been friends with these people all semester_, I think as I try to have fun playing Putt Putt Golf with Darwin, Candace, and Frank on Wednesday evening and eating lunch with Portlyn on Thursday. _Why didn't I have the good sense to stay away from my hot roommate and his cute twin in the first place?_

But I'm kidding myself. I miss my friends—London's "Yay, me's", Woody's jokes (but not his gas), Cody's nerdy charm and Zack's, well, plenty of things about Zack. We've basically avoided each other since our fight on Tuesday night. The tension between us adds to the clutter in Cabin 8-102. Zack gets back from work late both nights, and I head to class early in the mornings. Each time I pass by Easy Squeezy, there's Addison parked at the counter hanging on his every word. Other girls, both students and passengers, show up to flirt with Zack as he announces the daily specials, mixes fruit in the blender and doles out frothy concoctions. He laughs and jokes with all of them. I wouldn't be surprised if he started juggling bananas, melons, and coloured cups, like a teenaged smoothie bartender version of Tom Cruise in that _Cocktail_ movie my parents love.

Watching from the sidelines in my ghetto farmboy attire and ever-present baseball cap, I feel torn, jealous and invisible. "Get away from my boyfriend!" I want to scream at these girls. But of course, I can't—not unless I want to start gay rumours, or expose my true identity. I don't even know if Zack is still my boyfriend. Or if he ever was. My conversation with Cody continues to haunt me. Maybe now that I'm less in the picture, Zack's true colours are showing, and by that I mean his superficial, smooth-talking, commitment-phobic colours.

[***]

On Thursday afternoon I decide I have talk to someone. I really need some advice on how to proceed. Should I just apologize to Zack for getting so mad on Tuesday night? Should I wait for him to apologize to me? Or is the situation hopeless? Since Moose and I never had any actual fights in the six months we dated, I have no experience to draw on. And so I seek out the one person who I think may be able to help me, someone who's known Zack for years.

I find the heiress sunning herself on a lounger by the pool, wrapped in a sarong and wearing a flying saucer–sized straw hat. She's sipping iced tea from a silver chalice. The sight of her is slightly mind-boggling. I mean, where do you even _find_ a silver chalice, of all things?

"Hey, London," I try to sound casual as I approach her. "Can I talk to you about something?"

London removes her massive sunglasses and regards me with a superior expression. Her eyelids gleam with silvery purple eye shadow. "Yes, you may, farm person."

I sit down on the lounger next to hers and lace my fingers. _Where to begin?_ "So, I... um, I have this friend, Jamie-Beth. And she's been seeing this guy, uh... Jack, for a while. But they're having some problems and she doesn't know what to do." As I hear myself spouting this slop, I wonder if London is actually going to buy it. Whenever you refer to a "friend," doesn't the listener automatically know you're talking about yourself?

_Not in this case_. "Is he rich?" she asks eagerly.

"Uh, no."

"Well, that's her first problem," she declares. "I once dated one of my employees at the Tipton, Lance, the lifeguard. He dumped me for a mermaid! Can you believe it? And my friend Chelsea, she tried dating her chauffeur. The back of his head was handsome enough, but his face turned out to be _hideous_." As London drones on, I can see this conversation isn't going to shed any insights into my relationship woes with Zack.

"So," she says finally, and I drift back to attention. "Mmmm?"

"Does that explain everything?" she asks.

"Yes," I say, looking into her huge, beautifully vacant brown eyes. "Thanks, London, you've been very helpful."

"Yay, me!" She claps her hands joyfully. Then she slips her sunglasses back on and settles into a restful pose.

Clearly I've been dismissed, so there's nothing else for me to do but wander on my way. Now I feel more alone and perplexed than ever.

[***]

By Friday afternoon I've had enough. I also haven't had a banana fofana smoothie since Monday. I march upstairs to the Easy Squeezy area, determined to fix things with Zack. I'm thinking of asking him to meet me later tonight so we can talk. Like on the Starlight Deck.

Then I see Addison draped across the counter. She's whispering something in Zack's ear. In fact, it looks like she's nibbling _on_ his ear. His hand is touching her arm and he's laughing conspiratorially with her. I feel like I've been slapped. For a moment my heart actually aches.

_Well, two can play that game._ And so I keep on marching, right over to the towel station. "Hey, Cody," I say in my sunniest voice. "How goes the towel toiling?"

"Hey, Bailey," Cody greets me from behind another mountain of towels. "I haven't seen you around for a while. The job still sucks. How are things with you?"

"Just hunky dory," I say, although I'm thinking the exact opposite. "How did you do on the big French essay that was due today?"

"_Trés bien, je pense_. I wrote about parallels between the reign of Charlemagne and the Roman Empire." He pauses to check off something on a list. "But I almost didn't get it finished in time. My laptop's been acting up."

A towel flies through the air and lands on top of the mountain, sending an avalanche of towels to the floor.

"People are so wasteful," Cody complains as he gathers up the towels. "They take way more towels than they need. Don't they care about the environment?"

I lean down to help. "I hear you, buddy. My brother Nate and I organized a recycling drive at our school last year. We filled the gym with cans, bottles, and recyclables, and saved an entire ton of garbage from going to the county dump."

"That's so cool, Bailey." Cody sounds genuinely impressed. "Good for you."

Suddenly I have an idea. "So... there's gonna be a Three Stooges Film Festival on the Fiesta Deck this weekend." I try not to hesitate as I continue. "Do you want to check it out?" It's not like I'm asking him on a date (am I?). I'm just suggesting two buddies watch some funny movies together. And it's not like I said a Hugh Grant movie.

"Sorry, I don't think I can," says Cody. "I 'm working most of the weekend. But maybe another time."

"Hey, no problem." Oh well, this must be for the best. I have no right to involve Cody in my issues with Zack. The smartest thing to do is to devote my efforts to resolving those issues.

[***]

Zack walks into Cabin 8-102 around 9:30, an hour earlier than any other night this week.

"You're back early," I comment. I'm flipping through a fashion magazine at my desk, admiring photos of holiday party dresses. Unfortunately I won't to get wear any this year.

"Fred is closing up the smoothie bar tonight." Zack seems to avoid my gaze right away.

_Maybe we can finally talk._ "So I... um... saw you talking to Addison tonight," I say tentatively. I need to find out what's going on with them.

"I saw you talking to Cody," he counters.

"But Cody thinks I'm a boy!" I burst out. "It's not the same thing at all, and you know it. You've been flirting with Addison all week!"

"She's just a friend," he says and goes into the bathroom.

"OK," I say, trying to sound friendly, when he's back. "So, do you want to go to the Three Stooges Film Festival on the Fiesta Deck this weekend?" I twirl a strand of my hair nervously as I wait for him to answer.

"I have to work all weekend. Mr. Moseby gave me some extra shifts." He pulls a blue dress shirt out of his closet and starts to take off his Easy Squeezy shirt. I look away.

"But I was hoping we could hang out." I know I'm whining. "I've hardly seen you all week."

"Sorry," he says, buttoning his shirt. "I'm taking as many shifts as possible so I can pay Cody back."

"Well, that's very big of you." Instantly I want a do-over. That sounded way more sarcastic than I'd intended.

Zack walks over to my desk. "I think we need to take a break."

This actually sounds like a good idea_._ "Fine. Let's go get a smoothie or something." I reach for my hoodie.

When Zack doesn't reply, a sickening realization hits me. "Oh, you mean a break from us," I say quietly.

He glances at the floor and then the wall. "I don't know."

"Is that what you want?" I ask and my voice wavers.

This time Zack looks right at me. "Well, something obviously isn't working here," he states.

My throat tightens and I can barely blink back the tears, but I don't want Zack to see me fall apart again. "Whatever," I choke out and run from the cabin. I don't even bother to grab my hat.

I manage to hold it together until I get to the empty biology lab. Then I crumple into a desk and weep. My life at Seven Seas High is ruined. What am I going to do now?

* * *

**A/N: Poor Bailey... what is she going to do now? BTW, I found the topic for Cody's French essay on a website for graduate-level thesis papers to ensure it would be super advanced for a high school student :) I also had to throw in a silver chalice after watching the **_**Wizards–TSLOD–Hannah Montana**_** crossover episode. **

**As always, thank you so much for the reviews and questions. You guys are doing an awesome job of helping me stay inspired! Let me know what you think of this newest installment. Xoxoxo – Ellie**


	11. Chapter 10: Holy Toledo!

**A/N: Judging from the reviews and feedback so far, it's time for Bailey to make a change in her life at Seven Seas High. And in this chapter she does...

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**Chapter 10: "Holy Toledo!"

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**

I spend most of the weekend by myself and in tears, feeling like a monumental screw-up. Even the Three Stooges Film Festival doesn't cheer me up. My thoughts loop through an endless cycle of worries and regrets. When I broke up with Moose, I left for Seven Seas High the very next day and haven't had to see him since. Zack and I _live_ together. There's no way I can avoid him for good. _How horrible is the rest of the semester going to be?_

Overshadowing the nightmare of our roommate situation is the realization that getting involved with Zack was a _huge_ mistake. Even under normal circumstances we never would have lasted. We're too different, plus he's clearly a player, just like Cody said.

No, the real mistake was applying here as a boy. If I'd been a girl all along, I wouldn't have ended up sharing a cabin with Zack, or accidentally falling for his hotness and charisma—and I could have had a chance with Cody. But now Cody will always be off limits. Not just because I've dated his twin brother, but because I have to keep up the pretense that I'm a boy. My future at Seven Seas High depends on it. The only other option is to go back to Kettlecorn.

And at this point, maybe that's not such a bad idea.

[***]

This is what I'm thinking as I walk out of the Fiesta Deck theatre on Sunday night after the final Stooges film.

Someone bumps into me. I look up to see to a burly man wearing a 10-gallon cowboy hat, Hawaiian shirt, and golf shorts, with a buxom blonde on his arm. "Sorry there, little fella," he apologizes in a thick Texan drawl. "Me and the missus are off to win big!" He tips his hat at me and the two of them head into the casino.

I linger by the casino entrance, watching the Texan couple and other gamblers pump coins into a bank of slot machines. I don't want to go back to Cabin 8-102, even though Zack is probably still working or off somewhere with Cody or Woody.

A colourful poster catches my eye. The poster shows an image of the _S.S. Tipton_ festooned with tinsel. Emblazoned across the top is a bold red headline: _Holiday Singles Cruise: December 22–January 2._ And below this, in smaller type: _Fill out your dating questionnaire at tiptoncruises . com/singles_

"Holy Toledo!" The Texan leaps to his feet and does a crazy jig as his slot machine buzzes and flashes madly. "Ah've won the jackpot!"

Suddenly an idea sprouts in my mind, like a corn seed in spring. As it grows into a full-blown plan, I feel like I too have won the jackpot.

[***]

I show up at the towel station in time for Cody's 6:00 break on Monday evening. I saw Zack and Woody at the dinner buffet on my way here, so I know the coast is clear.

"Hey, Cody, check this out," I say, holding up my laptop. "There's gonna be a Holiday Singles Cruise starting tomorrow. Anyone on board can fill out the dating questionnaire." My laptop is open to the questionnaire webpage. "Why don't you fill it out? You could meet a nice girl, and then being stuck here over the holidays won't be so crappy."

Cody frowns at me. "Who would want to go out with the ship's towel boy?" he asks gloomily.

"Dude, at least you have a job," I say encouragingly. "Girls don't go for guys who are unemployed."

"I don't know, some of these questions look silly." He scans the screen. "Are you going to fill it out, too?"

"No can do," I say quickly. "Unlike you, I actually _am_ unemployed and I'm... I'm kind of seeing Jamie-Beth Collins back in Kettlecorn now. We decided to try the long-distance relationship thing."

"That's great, Bailey," Cody smiles so sincerely that I almost cringe. "I hope it works out for you guys." He seems to perk up then. "OK, I'll fill out the questionnaire. Who knows, maybe I'll meet Ms. Right."

_Score!_ I hand him my laptop, cheering silently, and he starts to tap at the keyboard.

I lean against the counter, trying not to hover conspicuously. As soon as he stops typing, I blurt out, "I think that guy over there wants a towel. He's waving at you." I point to a random man by the hot tub.

"Can't he see I'm on a break?" Cody grumbles, but he still grabs a towel from the stack on the counter and trots away to surprise the stranger. Within seconds I've made a screen capture and emailed it to myself.

[***]

Back in Cabin 8-102, I log into my Gmail account, open up the file with Cody's answers, and navigate to the questionnaire webpage.

As my fingers approach the keyboard, the deviousness of my plan shocks me all over again. Can I really go through with this—copying Cody's questionnaire answers and submitting them under a fake girl's name so we'll be matched up for the Holiday Singles Cruise?

Apparently I can, since I've already typed "Holly Toledo" into the name field of the questionnaire.

I forge onto the next question, my thoughts whirling. This is my one and only chance to go out with Cody. Besides, Cody has been so miserable lately and isn't it my fault Zack neglected him all semester—and at least partly my fault his cash card got maxed out, forcing him to get this crappy towel job? As a good friend, I _owe_ it to Cody to make sure he has a fun Christmas.

By the time I finish rationalizing, I've also finished the questionnaire. Cody's answers are actually very similar to what mine would have been if I'd filled out the questionnaire as the real Bailey Pickett. We both like irises, pine, a good quiche, smart people, and protecting the environment.

_See, Cody and I are perfect for each other_, I tell myself as I hit "Submit" and Holly Toledo's dating questionnaire zips into cyberspace.

[***]

We only have a half-day of school on Tuesday, our last day of classes for the year. The morning flies by, and in the afternoon the _S.S. Tipton_ docks in Miami to pick up passengers for the singles cruise and drop off students who are going home for the holidays. Zack, Cody, London, and I are the only Seven Seas High students who'll be staying on the ship until school starts again on January 4th. Woody is meeting up with his family in Nassau tomorrow and will be back on New Year's Eve. Mr. Tipton is flying in from the Tipton Space Station for Christmas Day.

"My daddy is getting me a 24-karat moon rock for Christmas," London tells everyone who will listen. "Yay, me!"

After saying our good-byes to the departing students, Zack and Cody go to work, London and Woody go shopping on the Plaza Deck for Christmas and Hanukkah presents, because London celebrates both holidays, and I go back to Cabin 8-102 to get ready for tonight. According to the singles cruise schedule, everyone who answered the dating questionnaire will be paired up at a cocktail party on the Gala Deck at 7:00.

My pulse races as I pull out the red dress I wore when I arrived on deck. I'm _finally_ going to be a girl again! And I'm going to have a date with Cody.

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**A/N: I thought it would be interesting to flip the plot of the "seaHarmony" episode and have Bailey copy Cody's dating questionnaire answers instead of vice versa. Will the scheme work in this alternative universe? Stay tuned to find out... I will try to post chapters more often. So much thanks for reading and reviewing—you guys are awesome. Xoxoxo – Ellie**


	12. Chapter 11: Nice to Meet You, Holly

**Chapter 11: "Nice to Meet You, Holly"

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_Bailey Pickett, you have outdone yourself_, I congratulate my reflection in the floor-to-ceiling windows of the ballroom on the Gala Deck. Even I don't recognize myself.

My straight brown hair is now a cascade of Scarlet Power (Féria P67) spiral curls. My brown eyes are a vivid green thanks to contact lenses from the Plaza Deck drugstore. I have a bronze spray tan from the spa on the Oasis Deck, and I'm wearing my red dress with matching ballet flats. No one has ever seen this version of Bailey Pickett before. I've always been kind of a tomboy, but it feels great to be a real girlie-girl. In fact, it feels great just to be a girl out in public after months in my brothers' hand-me-downs. The jeans and hoodie I had on earlier today are in a backpack inside the closet of Cabin 2-330 on Deck 2. The backpack also contains my new makeup kit and curling iron, _Hairstyle_ and _Elle_ magazines, and a serious can of hairspray. It was easier than I expected to sneak a keycard from the front desk, and I programmed it for the furthest empty cabin from Cabin 8-102. The keycard is inside my purse along with a tube of Diva Red lipgloss. Touching up my lips, I marvel that it takes a lot of makeup to look like you're not actually wearing any.

I am ready to be Cody's dream date for the Holiday Singles Cruise. I even found a pair of small funky reading glasses at the drugstore this afternoon. I've seen photos of his old girlfriend, Barbara, so I know for a fact that he likes girls with glasses. Plus they really complete my new look.

Now I just have to wait for Cody to show up. Singles are already arriving for the cocktail party. They're lining up at a table in the ballroom to get their numbered paper hearts from Connie, the ship's activities director. I already have my paper heart since I got here early. I am #7. That's a lucky number, right? Connie wouldn't tell me the name of my match when she pinned the heart on my dress, but I feel confident tonight will go as planned. When I saw Cody at the towel station a few hours ago, he said he'd be here. "Well, have fun, dude," I'd said, feeling a flurry of butterflies in my stomach.

It's 7:05 now, and the deck is crowded with people wearing numbered paper hearts. They aren't all, as London would say, "hideously dressed freaks" either. In fact, many of them are quite attractive for older people. Take Mr. Moseby and Ms. Tutweiller, for example. He's a fairly handsome guy and she's been mistaken for a showgirl, and yet here they both are, milling around the ballroom in search of their perfect match. They're not exactly the last two people I'd expect to find at a singles event, but I am surprised.

Their presence also gives me a shudder of anxiety, although they're not likely to recognize me. As long as I stay outside, I should be safe. When Cody gets here, we can always go somewhere else.

OK, _now_ I see the last two people I'd expect to find at a singles event. Zack and London are lurking at the ballroom entrance. _What the hell are they doing here? _There's no way either of them filled out a dating questionnaire. London is so rich she could have anyone she wants, and Zack could have his pick of Addison or any of the other girls who flock to Easy Squeezy. Since neither of them is wearing a paper heart, they must be here to mock the rest of us. Well, I am not going to let them ruin my plan!

I start to back away from the windows so that I can disappear into a group of people over by the band area. My nerves are seriously jangled, though, and pretty soon I'm a nervous wreck. The incredible stupidity of my plan also hits me like a runaway tractor. What do I think I'm doing, dressed up to meet my roommate/secret ex-boyfriend's twin brother for a singles cruise? Where is my head? _On what planet could this possibly be a good idea?_

The various singles are rapidly pairing off into happy-looking couples, and suddenly I miss Zack so much I can hardly breathe. I look toward the ballroom to see if he and London are still there. Hopefully I can just leave before this _Cruise of Deception_ soap opera goes to a whole new level.

I don't see Zack and London, or Mr. Moseby and Ms. Tutweiller. But I do see Cody. He's walking straight toward me, wearing a white jacket, black t-shirt, skinny black jeans—and a #7 heart. And when he sees that I'm the other #7, the look in his eyes says that if anyone here has won the jackpot, it's him.

So what do I do? I smile and sell it.

"Hi, I'm Holly," I say, emphasizing my twang. "Holly Toledo from Amarillo, Texas. It's _so_ nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you, Holly," replies Cody, grasping my newly manicured hand. "I'm Cody Martin. From Boston."

[***]

Cody gazes into my Jade Green eyes, I look back into his blue-green ones, and for a heart-stopping instant I think he knows who I am. Then he lets go of my hand and smiles self-consciously.

"So, tell me about yourself, Cody," I say, pushing aside all thoughts of Zack, London, Mr. Moseby, Ms. Tutweiller, and my questionable sanity.

"I'm a junior at Seven Seas High," he replies. "My twin brother Zack and I live on the ship, with a bunch of other students. We used to live at the Tipton Hotel in Boston where our mom is the lounge singer."

"Wow, there's a _school_ on this boat?" I ask, doing my best to sound awed. "I've never heard of a high school on a cruise ship before. What's that like?"

Cody isn't going to let me off so easily. "Wait, a minute—aren't you going to ask all those typical questions, like what it's like being a twin, can we read other's minds, are we exactly alike, which of us was born first?"

_I already know the answers to those questions._ "Uh, I'm good. I'm sure you get tired of constantly being asked that stuff whenever you meet someone new. Tell me about this sea school. It sounds amazing."

He describes the courses at Seven Seas High and his various extra credit projects, then asks, "What about you, Holly? How did you end up on a singles cruise?" His tone implies that what he really means is, "How did a girl like you end up on a singles cruise?"

"Oh, I'm just here with my mom." I prepared my story while I was getting dressed in Cabin 2-330. "Quality mother-daughter time. My parents are divorced. I thought it would be fun to fill out the dating questionnaire along with her. You never know, right?"

"My parents are divorced, too." Cody looks around. "So where's your mom?"

"She's... she already met her 'perfect' match. They went out for dinner." _That's true, my mom is definitely nowhere to be seen._

"Cool. My friend Bailey talked me into filling out the questionnaire. I thought he was nuts, but now I'm glad he did." Cody smiles again, and I think, _Me, too_.

I take another look at the ballroom. No sign of Zack and London. "Why don't we go see what's planned for the cruise?"

Connie hands us a sheet of activities for the next 12 days. There's plenty to choose from—rock-climbing, karaoke nights, more cocktail parties, workshops, a hypnotist, even a holiday scavenger hunt.

" 'Christmas Cooking with Seaweed' sounds like fun," Cody enthuses. "We could learn how to make festive quiche à la kelp. I put down quiche for my favourite food on the questionnaire."

"Really? Me, too!"

"No way?"

Cody's surprised expression is endearing. "Let's go find something else to do, away from all these singles," I suggest. "How about Putt Putt Golf or Glow-in-the-Dark Bowling? I saw them both on one of the lower decks."

He chooses golf and as we make our way to the course, conversation flows easily between us. Cody is up to date on current events and knows a lot about history and politics. It's interesting to talk to someone who's aware of what's going on in the world. People in Kettlecorn live in their own little bubble. This is exactly why I applied to Seven Seas High.

My remaining jitters fade away. I've pulled off being a guy for almost four months now. How hard can it be to play a Texan girl named Holly for a 12-day singles cruise? Cody and I may have hung out together as buddies all semester, but it's not like we know each other on a really personal level. Our pool game talk is only our "deep" conversation to date. This means I can still be myself—more or less.

Mini golf turns out to be the perfect activity for a first date. We can talk but also concentrate on playing. Even though I'm a pro, I pretend to be a newbie so that Cody can "help" me. Zack, Woody, and I went on a major mini golf spree in October. Believe me, playing golf with Cody is a completely different experience from playing with Zack. Zack is super-competitive and gets annoyed whenever anyone else gets a hole in one. Cody plays just to have fun. "I'm not really good at sports," he tells me, as he positions his protractor for a complex shot. As far as I can tell, being into sports is the only thing we don't have in common. And one more thing that Zack and Cody don't have in common. It goes without saying that Cody doesn't flirt with other girls right in front of me. The twins don't even look exactly alike. Cody is taller and thinner than Zack, and his shaggy blond hair hangs in a slightly different style.

By the time we get stuck at the Bermuda Triangle hole, it's 9:30. "I should get going," I say reluctantly. A 9:45 curfew will give me 45 minutes to go down to Cabin 2-330, change into my ghetto farmboy clothes, remove my makeup, nail polish and contact lenses, straighten my hair, and get back up to Cabin 8-102 by 10:30. The school curfew is still being enforced, even though we're not officially in school.

"Yeah, it's getting late." I can detect a note of disappointment in Cody's voice, the same way I could when I realized he was jealous of my "bromance" with Zack that night we played pool.

"My cabin's on Deck 4," I improvise, pushing #4 when we're in the elevator. At the hallway doors on Deck 4, I decide that it will be easiest to just say good-night here instead of outside my hypothetical cabin. _A girl has to have some secrets, right?_

"I had a great time tonight." I keep my voice steady as I hold out my hand. It's only our first date—too early for any kind of kiss, or probably even a hug.

Cody takes my hand. "I had a great time, too, Holly. So, um, do you want to go out again?"

His hopeful, nervous smile goes straight to my heart. "Yeah, that would be cool."

"What's your cell number?" he asks, ready to key it into his phone.

"My cell number...?" I stammer. A brainwave catches me and I add, "My phone doesn't get reception on the ship. Give me your email address and I'll email you. We'll do something tomorrow night."

"Cool." He writes down his email address with paper and pen from his trusty pocket supplies. "See you tomorrow, Holly."

[***]

_I really did have a great time tonight_, I reflect as I wipe off the last traces of eye shadow in Cabin 2-330's miniature bathroom. Except for the red hair, I look like Bailey Pickett again, the one everyone at Seven Seas High knows. I feel a prickle of conscience as my tanned face stares back at me from the mirror. _Is this the girl who only ever lied to her mom about cleaning out the chicken coop?_ I used to worry that Cody would find out about Zack and me. What if Zack finds out about Cody and me?

Cabin 8-102 is empty when I open the door, seconds after 10:30. So Zack is breaking curfew, too. _Whatever. _

I string up Grammy's curtain between our beds, something I should have stuck with from Day 1. If I hadn't flung down the curtain when Zack scratched his back with my hairbrush, he might never have discovered I'm a girl. How different all of our lives would be now...

But there's nothing I can do about that. What I _can_ do is turn on my laptop to research Amarillo, Texas and create a Gmail account under the name "Holly Toledo." When I'm finished, I draft an email to Cody suggesting we meet on the Fiesta Deck tomorrow evening.

_Merry Christmas, Cody_, I think as I save the email to send in the morning. _Didn't I tell you we'd do something fun for the holidays_?

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**A/N: So, how was that for a first date?:) I'll bet you all recognize the number of Bailey's other cabin. I took the "Cruise of Deception" idea from a famous **_**Days of Our Lives**_** storyline set on a cruise ship. It seemed like an appropriate metaphor for this cruise story, except (spoiler alert!) nobody will be murdered. Two points of clarification: (1) I aged all the characters ahead one year mostly to make the twins taller (which has more importance for the next chapter), and (2) I did not intend for Bailey to sound like a psycho in the last couple of lines (the story is not going in that direction). Please read and review. Thanks so much, you guys. Xoxoxo – Ellie**

**P.S. And of course, happy 17th birthday to Dylan and Cole Sprouse today!**


	13. Chapter 12: You Forgot Your Pants!

**A/N: OMG, who forgot their pants? And where? I had so much fun writing this chapter. I hope it you enjoy reading it, too.

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**Chapter 12: "You Forgot Your Pants!"

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On Wednesday morning I get up extra early, send Holly's email to Cody, and get first dibs on the breakfast buffet. Today is going to be another busy day. I'm so sleepy that I zone out while I'm eating my scrambled eggs and toast. As I'm zoning in again, Cody himself appears at the dining room cash register, dressed for work. Since I'm in my Bailey uniform, I can't ignore him so I give a friendly wave and he carries his tray over to my table.

"Hey, Bailey," he says, sitting down across from me. "How are things?"

That's a tough question—and one that I must carefully consider before answering. On the one hand, things are good because he and I are going out tonight, only he has no clue that I'm his date. On the other hand, things are bad because I live in a shoebox with my secret ex-boyfriend who also happens to be his twin brother. On another hand, things are sad because Christmas is now in two days and it's begun to hit me that I'll be spending it without my family. On another hand still, life definitely isn't dull with this circus going on.

My reply becomes a moot point when Zack drops into the seat next to Cody. Our eyes lock together over our breakfast trays. It's only for a second or two, but feels like longer. I didn't even hear him return to our cabin last night. Their jobs have made it easy to cover up that we don't hang out together anymore, but with Cody right here, the show must go on, as they say.

Zack breaks the ice first. "Get much sun lately?" he asks me.

"I fell asleep by the pool," I mutter. _Yikes, what if Cody recognizes the tan?_

If Cody notices anything odd about this exchange, or my new tan, he doesn't let on. "So, Woody leaves today for nine whole days," he tells us excitedly. "No more 'Stairway to Heaven,' or worrying about being asphyxiated in my sleep, or having to spray disinfectant on everything he's touched. I can't wait."

"I was thinking, Codester," says Zack, chewing noisily. "I could move in with you while Woody's away. We could hang out again, play video games all night, just like old times."

A chunk of toast catches in my throat. So even with Grammy's curtain, our cabin is too small for the both of us. But if I'm going to continue being Miss Holly Toledo, not having him around would certainly help.

"Yeah, sure," says Cody. "You owe me, anyway, for stealing my cash card." Then he turns to me. "And I owe _you_ big time for talking me into filling out that dating questionnaire. I got matched up with this awesome girl Holly. She's smart, funny, and gorgeous, and we're going out again tonight."

"Yeah?" I ask, willing myself not to blush. _So it's not just my imagination—Cody and I really did hit it off last night._

"You should bring her by the smoothie bar," says Zack and takes a forkful of hash browns from Cody's plate.

"Yeah, right," scoffs Cody. "So you can hit on her? I don't think so."

_I don't think so either._ In fact, I think it's time for my exit. "Well, I gotta go," I announce, grabbing my tray with my half-eaten breakfast. "I need to get a Christmas present for Woody, so see you guys later bye." My words jumble together in my haste to flee.

"What's up with him?" I hear Cody ask, and if Zack has an answer I'm too far away to listen. I'm sure I wouldn't want to hear it anyway.

[***]

In the afternoon I hit the Plaza Deck to find some more clothes for my Holly wardrobe. I've never gone shopping two days in a row before. If I keep this up, I'll be the next student at Seven Seas High to need a job.

As I flip through a rack of dresses at Palm Beach Fashions, London and Addison stroll in. I crouch behind the rack. No point trying to explain why I'm in a women's clothing store.

"Ugh, everything is _hideous_," London comments as she pulls out a dress from another rack. "Nothing by Arturo Vitalli. I need to talk to Daddy about getting some better stores on this boat."

Addison seems to agree. "I should just wait 'til I'm in St. Barts tomorrow to get some resort wear. My mom hates everything I pick out anyway. She wants to me to become a debutante, so I won't be back for the second half of the semester."

I almost yell out "hooray!" No more Addison at Seven Seas High—this is the best Christmas present I could ask for. It also means there will be an empty girl's spot at the end of January. _Imagine if I could move into Addison's old cabin and be a regular girl again... _

"You are so lucky," London whines. "Daddy won't let me leave this stupid sea school. Chelsea says people think I'm dead—or worse, at fat camp!"

Addison just goes on talking. "You're the only person I'll miss here, London. And Zack, of course. That guy is unspeakably hot, and I am _so_ hooking up with him tonight."

I almost rip a scarf in half when she drops this second bombshell. _I hate that wench!_ So much for her and Zack being "just friends." I _knew_ something was going on with them. Snatching an armload of dresses, I duck into a nearby changing room. _Do _not_ cry, Bailey,_ I order myself as I sit on a plush stool, taking deep shaky breaths. _You're seeing Cody now, and whatever Zack does is none of your business._

I leave Palm Beach Fashions an hour later with the biggest shopping bag I've ever carried. I've bought a flouncy yellow dress with spaghetti straps, a turquoise dress with a full skirt and a sparkly halter top that will really show off my tanned shoulders, a bunch of t-shirts and tank tops, two pairs of shorts, a not-too-revealing black bathing suit, a small gold-coloured watch, and thee-inch platform sandals. This should last me for the rest of the singles cruise.

When I get back to Cabin 8-102, I log into Gmail and find an email from Cody. He is getting off work early and can meet me at 6:30. "See you then," I type back. _Perfect._

[***]

Cody and I meet outside the elevators on the Fiesta Deck at 6:30. He greets me happily, looking as cute as ever in a short-sleeved light green shirt and dark blue jeans. I'm wearing the turquoise dress and platform sandals. Seeing our reflections in the elevator door, I have to say we make a good couple.

"Your hair is really pretty, Holly," he says.

"Thank you," I beam. My spiral curls are even bouncier tonight, and I can tell he wants to touch them but doesn't dare. "Where do you want to go for dinner?"

"How about the Neptune Room on the Gala Deck?" he replies. "It has really cool balconies."

"No, it's way too expensive." I'm not making that mistake again, plus now I have my own abysmal cash card balance to think of. Not to mention I would bawl for sure if we ate there and that would just be really difficult to explain.

"Don't worry about it," he says. "I got my first paycheque today."

"No," I insist, "let's go to the café on the Oasis Deck." And that's where we go for dinner. Afterwards we walk around the ship's art gallery. Cody makes intelligent remarks about the sculptures and paintings. Our easy, comfortable rapport from last night is back in full swing.

But when we've seen all the art, he asks me a scary question. "Do you want to go get dessert at the Easy Squeezy smoothie bar on Deck 13? My brother Zack is working tonight. I told him all about you."

"I'm allergic to fruit," I say instantly. _Well, what else could I say?_

He gives me sympathetic look. "You have Oral Allergy Syndrome? That's so unfortunate for you, Holly."

"Yeah, it is." I make mental note to look up this condition online later tonight. "But the doctor says I might grow out of it." An elevator conveniently arrives and I say, "C'mon, let's go down to the Main Deck."

The Main Deck of the _S.S. Tipton_ is truly a wonder. The centre has a garden atrium where you can watch four glass elevators, one in each corner, gliding up and down, right to the 14th deck. A huge floodlit fountain in the middle of the garden rises and falls coordinated to soft classical music. As we watch the mesmerizing, multi-coloured swells of water, I lose track of time. When I think to look down at my left hand, which Cody has been holding for a while now, I see that it's already 9:50—past my "curfew."

_Good thing the nearest elevator is almost here._ Two familiar faces stand out among the riders—Mr. Moseby and Ms. Tutweiller. They're talking animatedly to each other. Then Mr. Moseby pauses and I'm absolutely, 100% positive he looks right down at me, his eyes widening in recognition. The elevator will arrive any second. Panic seizes me.

"My mom's in that elevator," I say to Cody urgently, "and it's past my curfew. If she sees me, I'll be grounded for the rest of the cruise!" Still holding his hand, I start to weave away from the crowd that's gathering around the elevator door.

People surge from the elevator, and sure enough the two adults head for us.

"Crap, she's coming this way!" I babble, sprinting for the centre staircase, praying Cody didn't see Mr. Moseby and Ms. Tutweiller among the throng. "We have to get out of here or I'm screwed!" I know I must sound like a crazy person, but in my frenzy I can't dwell on this. All I can dwell on is running in my three-inch platform heels. And remembering how to get to Cabin 2-330.

Tearing down the stairs to Deck 2 and along endless hallways, hearing voices behind us the whole way, I feel like we're in a chase scene in a movie. I have not come this far, and been through so much, to get outed now while I'm on a date with Cody, who thinks I'm his dream girl from Texas. _I will not let it happen._

Finally Cabin 2-330 looms ahead. "Quick, check if anyone's coming," I hiss and jam the keycard for Cabin 2-330 into the door slot while Cody's back is turned. The green light blinks like a beacon of salvation. "Great, this cabin is open!"

We spill inside, and I close the door. _Home free_. I feel like I've won a marathon. Or an obstacle course.

"Sorry about that," I wheeze, leaning into the door as I stuff the keycard in my purse. My chest is heaving and I can barely speak. "It's just that my mom is _really_ strict." My glasses have even fogged up. I wipe them on my skirt, trying to catch my breath.

"It's OK." Cody runs a hand through his hair. The messy look suits him. "That was fun." He smiles at me, having no idea of the crisis I've just averted.

My spiral curls are completely askew. As Grammy would say, I probably look like I've been pulled through a bush backwards. I straighten the halter top of my dress and take a few steps toward the middle of the cabin. I just want to collapse. That was _way_ too close.

Cody follows me. Now we're face to face in the empty, moonlit room. "Hi," he says shyly. His breath is warm on my cheek.

"Hi," I say, wincing from a sudden stab of nerves. _Will kissing Cody feel anything like kissing Zack?_

Just as our lips are about to touch, voices arise in the hallway. The doorknob starts to jostle.

Jerking apart, Cody and I scramble into the closet, where my backpack is hidden. We pull the door shut as two people enter the cabin. _What is it with me and twins in closets?_

"How did you know this cabin would be empty, Mr. M?" asks someone who sounds disturbingly like Ms. Tutweiller.

The distinctive tones of Mr. Moseby reply gallantly, "As ship manager, my dear Ms. T, I know where all the empty cabins are. And with my master keycard, I can access any room on the ship."

_Sweet potato pie, it's them._ My mouth falls open and beside me I hear Cody gasp.

"Oh, you naughty, naughty man!" Ms. Tutweiller scolds mischievously. They both begin to laugh, but the laughter quickly fades. _Well,_ _I guess they weren't chasing us after all._

I cringe and even in the darkness, I can tell Cody is also cringing. Of course, he doesn't realize I know _exactly_ who's on the side of the closet door. Rustling and muffled noises ensue, and oh my gosh, this can't be happening.

"Sweet mama from Yokohama!" exclaims Mr. Moseby with too much enthusiasm.

Ms. Tutweiller chimes in with, "Oooh, gimme me some of that hot chocolate."

My ears are going to bleed. _Please, somebody make this stop._

As though answering my plea, Cody pulls out his cellphone and starts texting.

Seconds later I hear the unmistakable buzz of a BlackBerry® followed by a howl from Mr. Moseby. "_Nooooooo!_"

"What is it?" Ms. Tutweiller sounds confused.

Mr. Moseby is in a tizzy. "The 10:00 band didn't show up and Woody is back on deck. At this very moment he's in the kitchen gorging on spicy beans, preparing to give an unforgettable holiday concert. I must stop him!"

Footsteps pound from the room.

"Mr. M?" Ms. Tutweiller calls out. "You forgot your pants!"

More footsteps scurry and the cabin door clicks. Silence returns.

Cody and I are alone again. I open the closet door and moonlight illuminates us. He turns to me, holding up his cellphone. "Thank you," he says, curling his lip like Elvis. "Thank you very much."

"Cody Martin, you evil genius!" I cry and high-five him. I have never been so proud of anyone before, not even my oldest brother Brett when he won the hog-tying competition at last year's county fair.

"I can't believe that was Mr. Moseby and my teacher, Ms. Tutweiller." Cody is incredulous. "My friends London and Bailey thought they were dating a while ago, but they totally denied it."

"No way, what a coincidence." I force myself to keep a straight face. I wonder if Cody is going to tell me about the Starlight Follies adventure, although he probably wouldn't want his new girlfriend to know his brother made him wear a dress in public. "I'm just _so_ glad my mom didn't catch us."

It's too late to pick up where we left off. The romantic mood has passed—Mr. Moseby and Ms. Tutweiller used it up for themselves. Cody seems to sense this, too. "Come on, Holly, I'll walk you back to your cabin," he says, leading me to the door. "It's way past your curfew. I don't want you to get in even bigger trouble with your mom."

"Email me," I say at the hallway doors on Deck 4. "Let's go out again tomorrow night. There's going to be a Christmas Eve party on the Fiesta Deck."

"Sounds great, see you tomorrow, Holly." Cody kisses my cheek, and then he's gone.

[***]

I hear voices again as I creep down the hallway toward Cabin 8-102, with my Holly outfit in my backpack. It's past 11:00 and I've broken both of my curfews.

"Don't worry, Mr. Moseby," Cody is saying soothingly. "Everything is under control. The band showed up just as I dragged Woody offstage. He's back at his hotel in Nassau with his family. I just got a text from him right now."

"Thank you, Cody," says Mr. Moseby gratefully. "Thank you for everything you did tonight. You really can be a life saver. Unlike that hooligan brother of yours."

"No problem at all, Mr. Moseby. And I don't want to alarm you, but, Mr. Moseby…" Cody sounds uncomfortable now, "you're not wearing any pants."

This I have to see. Peeking around the corner, I see Cody and Mr. Moseby between Cabin 8-101 and Cabin 8-102. Mr. Moseby is indeed standing there in a burgundy suit jacket and purple paisley boxers. Bursting into laughter, I run back down the hallway so that they won't hear me.

I can't even count the number of close calls today, but I have to say, tonight goes down as most memorable date ever.

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**A/N: On a personal note, my British grandmother used to say the "pulled through a bush backwards" line and it always made me laugh hysterically, so I incorporated it here. As always, thanks so much for all the reviews and alerts, guys. Your questions and comments have been extremely helpful with shaping and continuing the story. Xoxoxo – Ellie**


	14. Chapter 13: 'Twas the Night Before Xmas

**A/N: It does feel odd to be writing a Christmas arc in the middle of the summer (which it is, here in Toronto, Canada), but here goes…

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**Chapter 13: 'Twas the Night Before Christmas

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'_Twas the night before Christmas, and all though the ship  
People were partying, old, young, and hip_

This silly rhyme runs through my head as I wait for Cody at the Christmas Eve party outside on the Fiesta Deck on Thursday night. I'm wearing my new yellow dress and the platform sandals again. I look wowtastic, if I do say so myself. Now that I know Mr. Moseby (and Ms. Tutweiller) can barge into any empty cabin on the ship, I've returned the keycard to Cabin 2-330 and hidden my backpack in the biology lab. It's not like anyone is going to go in there on Christmas Eve. It's hard to believe tomorrow is Christmas Day, since it's about 65 degrees out here.

I'm pretty hungry after spending most of the day at an oceanography seminar, so I grab some shrimp and fruit salad from the ever-present buffet table. I won't be able to eat any fruit in front of Cody due to my Oral Allergy Syndrome, which I did Google last night. Tonight will be our third date. There are nine days left of the singles cruise. Holly Toledo will officially become a pumpkin on the morning of Saturday, January 2nd. _How will it feel to say good-bye to Cody?_ If all goes well between now and then, will he want to keep in touch with me, have a long-distance relationship, visit me in Texas on his summer vacation? Or is this just another fling, a holiday romance? I may not have any of these answers, but I am sure of one thing—Cody isn't the kind of guy to have a casual shipboard fling.

Speaking of Cody, he should be here by now. His email this afternoon said he'd meet me at the party at 7:00 and it's now 7:15. I wander around the deck, watching couples dance to the DJ's music. I recognize a few people from the singles cruise. As 7:30 approaches and then 7:45, I wonder what's going on. Another thing I'm sure of is that Cody isn't the type to stand up a girl. But I can't even go back to my cabin to check my email dressed like this.

A fearful thought occurs to me and begins to snowball. Could Zack or London have somehow found out that I'm Holly and told Cody everything? _Stop it, Bailey_. _There's nothing to worry about. _I haven't even seen Zack since the Breakfast from Hell yesterday morning, or London since the craptacular run-in with that scrawny skank Addison on the Plaza Deck.

I'm just about to go to the ship's conference centre to check my email when Cody rushes up to me in a white dress shirt and skinny black jeans again. "Sorry, I had to work late," he says and does sound very sorry. "I wasn't even sure you'd still be here. Too bad I couldn't call or text you."

"It's OK," I say, so relieved I almost need to sit down on a deck chair to recover.

"Guess what, I have some good news," he continues, blue-green eyes shining. "Mr. Moseby gave Zack and me Christmas Day off. You should come to the big Christmas party with us. It'll be here on the Fiesta Deck. And you can meet my friends Bailey and London."

"Uh, yeah, maybe," I say offhandedly, secure in the knowledge that Holly will be busy with her mom during this event. Partying with the gang is _not_ a bridge I'm willing to cross. Not now, not ever.

"Oh, OK." Disappointment flickers across Cody's face and right away I can tell he's upset about more than my Christmas plans. Holly Toledo may have only known Cody for 48 hours, but Bailey Pickett has known him a lot longer. "What's wrong, Cody?" I ask. "I can tell something's bothering you."

He looks briefly startled. Then he says, "My brother is on academic probation. He just told me today. Our teacher Ms. Tutweiller—you know, from last night?—told him on the last day of classes that he'll flunk out of Seven Seas High if he fails anymore assignments before the end of January."

"Seriously?" I can't keep the shock out of my voice.

"I guess I shouldn't be surprised," Cody continues in a resigned tone. "Zack has always hated school. But he was doing so well for a while. He even took the shrink-wrap off his textbooks. It was unbelievable." He pauses to grab some mini quiches from the remains of the buffet. "Now I'll have to start doing Zack's homework again, on top of my own homework _and_ my towel job. So much for having any free time."

"Well, I'm sure everything will work out." I attempt to sound caring and considerate while masking my own dismay at this news, and fear that I might have something to do with Zack's bad grades. I tried to get him to do his homework, honestly I did_. _

"I can't imagine life here without Zack," he says with a sad sigh. "We've hardly ever been apart, except for when I went to math camp for two weeks in seventh grade. Zack was a basketcase. He persuaded Muriel, a maid at the Tipton, to drive him, Maddie, and London up to camp one night to try to get me to come home because he missed me so much."

"Really? That's so sweet." Thinking of Zack missing Cody gives me a warm, fuzzy feeling. So he does have a heart, underneath that flippant exterior.

"If Zack goes back to Boston, I guess the only silver lining would be that I could move in with Bailey and finally get away from Woody the human gas pump."

_Cute nerd say _what_?_ Alarm bells clang throughout my brain. Cody and I _cannot_ become roommates, not if I myself have any hope of staying at Seven Seas High for the rest of the school year. But what if—and now the gears begin to grind daringly in my head—what if neither Addison nor Zack _nor_ Bailey came back for the second half of the semester? Holly Toledo could become a student at Seven Seas High and move into Addison's old cabin, and nobody would ever know she used to be Bailey Pickett. And then Cody and I could be together for real. I'm aware this plan has more holes than chicken wire, but I'm sure I could make it work somehow.

"Earth to Holly?" Cody's voice interrupts my nefarious reverie. He's waving a hand in front of my face. "Hello?"

"Oh, sorry." I smile apologetically. Luckily I don't have to explain myself further because the DJ puts on "You Shook Me All Night Long," one of my absolute favourite songs.

"I _love_ this song!" I scream and start jumping up and down like I'm at a barn dance, shaking my spiral curls.

Cody flails along with me. "I was in an Everything Stinks video once," he says. "Zack and I cut school after missing the bus and hung out at the mall. While we were there I won a contest to star in the video and I kissed the lead singer, Matisse. It was my first time cutting school."

"That's awesome!" I like hearing about Cody's adventurous side. I'll never forget the way he saved us from the Moseby/Tutweiller love-fest.

The DJ plays a couple more fast songs, then "Beautiful" by Christina Aguilera. _A slow song at last._ I put my hands up on Cody's shoulders, and he wraps his arms around me. We sway to the music, and after a while I lay my head on his shoulder.

_Every day is so wonderful  
And suddenly, I saw debris  
Now and then, I get insecure  
From all the pain, I'm so ashamed_

_I am beautiful no matter what they say  
Words can't bring me down  
I am beautiful in every single way  
Yes, words can't bring me down  
So don't you bring me down today_

_To all your friends, you're delirious  
So consumed in all your doom  
Trying hard to fill the emptiness  
The piece is gone left the puzzle undone  
That's the way it is_

As Christina's voice soars, I reflect that right now, under the stars with Cody, everything feels beautiful. My stomach seems a little woozy, though. Probably I shouldn't have jumped around so much. Come to think of it, I feel a bit like I'm back on the airboat at Cousin Cletus's alligator farm.

"Holly?" I look up into Cody's sweet earnest face, so close to mine. He's chewing on his lower lip. "I know we just met, and normally I'd have a six-month plan with a girl, but you're only going to be here for nine more days and we've been already been through, uh... so much together."

I think of last night's closet scene. _Ain't that the truth._

"I feel like I've known you for a long time, Holly," he says hesitantly, "and, um... I really like you a lot."

At that very moment, my stomach lurches violently and instead of telling Cody I really like him, too, I throw up all over his sneakers. "I think I ate some bad shrimp," I moan, covering my mouth with my hand as the mortification sets in.

[***]

Cody insists on walking me back to my cabin, but once again I only let him take me as far as the hallway doors on Deck 4, swearing my mom will be in our cabin to look after me. He kisses my cheek, says he hopes I feel better soon, and promises to email me. Then I huddle in a stall in the women's washroom on the Plaza Deck for at least an hour, shivering and sweating. When I finally hobble out of the stall, there can't possibly be anything left in my stomach.

Standing hazily in front of the washroom mirror, I try to pull myself together. I rinse my mouth, remove my contact lenses and glasses, and splash some water onto my face. Next I stash my sandals in my purse and dampen my hairbrush so that I can straighten my hair. When I've done the best I can, I feel ready to make the long, winding trek back to Cabin 8-102.

Only I'm not. I quickly realize there's no way I can go up to the biology lab to change my clothes. I barely even make it to Deck 8. The floor rocks under my feet as I stagger down our hallway, leaning against the wall for support.

Another wave of nausea hits me as I fumble with the keycard for Cabin 8-102. It won't fit in the slot. I try one last time to unlock the door and then I'm falling into complete blackness.

* * *

**A/N: Oh snap, the infamous bad shrimp from the "International Dateline" episode makes an appearance. By the way, I hope it's not politically incorrect to refer to specifically Christmas events. Please assume that other holiday events are also held on the ship and everyone is welcome to attend whatever they want. Big thanks again to you guys for reading and reviewing. I have lots of ideas for the rest of the story, and would love to know what you're thinking. Xoxoxo – Ellie**


	15. Chapter 14: Merry Christmas, Sweetie

**A/N: Well, I know you've all been wondering who found Bailey unconscious in the hallway outside her cabin after the bad shrimp experience, so without further ado…

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**Chapter 14: "Merry Christmas, Sweetie"

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**

Layers of consciousness peel back slowly, one by painful one. Each time I try to open my eyes, my head throbs and my vision clouds over. I'm lying in my bed under the checkered yellow quilt. My red hair is scattered across the pillow. Someone blond is watching me.

"Cody?" I ask, the first name that comes to mind.

"Guess again," says a familiar voice. I blink, and this time I see Zack. He's sitting cross-legged on a desk chair next to the bed. I recognize his purple Brooklyn Bridge t-shirt. "How are you feeling?"

_What is he doing here?_

"I ate some bad shrimp." My words sound distant and my mouth feels like straw. Bad shrimp is the only thing I'm certain of. Fragments of last night spin through my head, but I can't piece anything together.

Sunlight fills our cabin through the porthole. I'm wearing a nightgown and there's a bucket next to the bed. _What time is it? And what happened to my yellow dress?_

"Yeah, you told me," Zack says. He's still watching me closely.

"I did?" The fragments are slowing now, settling into some kind of picture. I'm just not sure if I want to see it.

"Yeah, when I found you outside our cabin last night," he replies. "You said you ate some bad shrimp just before you blacked out again. You were really out of it." He hands me a bottle of orange Gatorade®. "Here, drink some of this. You're dehydrated."

I swallow a mouthful of Gatorade and my whole body recoils as I remember Cody telling Holly how much he likes her and then me throwing up on Cody's shoes. The memory is so frightful I almost have to reach for the bucket.

"Where's Cody?" I sense this is probably the wrong question to ask, but I'm scared. _Does Cody know I have food poisoning? And if so, has he put two and two together?_

"Out with London," says Zack. "Her dad bailed on her. Some emergency at the Tipton Space Station. She's pretty upset."

London's misfortune gives me something else to focus on, and I feel a flood of sympathy for my friend. "That's too bad. She was really looking forward to seeing him."

He shrugs. "Shit happens. Mr. Tipton does this to London all the time. By the way, your mom called to wish you a Merry Christmas."

"Did she?" _Oh right, today is Christmas Day._

"I told her you're sick. She's going to call back."

I struggle to sit up so I can look for my cellphone to call Mom. This takes too much effort and the room swims. I slump against my pillow, feeling completely helpless.

"Go back to sleep, Bailey," he says, standing up. "You'll feel better soon." He kisses my forehead, and as soon as I shut my eyes, everything slides away into darkness again.

[***]

When I wake up next it's to the sound of my cellphone buzzing near my head. I'm alone in the cabin and the sunlight is gone. There's a note on my tiny nightstand, along with the Gatorade bottle and my phone: _Xmas party with C & L, call if u need anything. – Z_

"Hi, Mom." My voice cracks right away. "I really miss you, and Daddy and Natie, and everyone."

Mom's anxiety filters straight into my ear. "Merry Christmas, sweetie. How are you feeling? Zack said you're sick when I called this morning."

It's so strange to hear my mom say Zack's name. "I ate some bad shrimp at a Christmas Eve party last night," I sniffle. "I feel so awful. This is the worst Christmas ever."

"Poor baby girl." Her warm, comforting words cause my eyes to overflow. "I sure wish I was there to take care of you."

"Me, too, Mommy," I say, feeling like a little kid.

"Honey, do you need me to come down there?" she asks and I know she's serious.

I start to backtrack. "No, no, I'll be fine, really." Of all the things I can't cope with right now, having my mom show up on the boat is near the top of the list.

"Are you sure, honey?" she presses. "Daddy and I could pay for a plane ticket somehow."

"Yes, Mom," I say firmly. "Don't worry about me, I'll be OK."

"So..." she says then and I recognize the girlfriend tone she likes to use with me, her only daughter. "Zack sounded really nice. Is he your boyfriend?"

"No, Mom," I sigh. "He's just... a friend who's looking after me 'cause my roommate is away for the holidays. And that's why you don't need to come down here." I hate to keep lying to my mom, especially on Christmas, but what else can I say? It's not like Zack is actually my boyfriend. Or like I could tell her he's my roommate, or what a huge mess I've made of my life here.

"I'm so glad you're making friends on the ship, sweetie. This sea school is such a wonderful opportunity for you to get out of Kettlecorn, see the world, and meet new people."

"Yeah, but it's harder than I thought it would be." A lump rises in my throat. "Making friends, that is. The school part is fine."

"Oh, Bailey, honey, just be yourself." Now she's speaking in her maternal wisdom tone. "That's all you have to do. Trust me on this one."

Right. _Easier said than done._

We chat a bit longer, and then I talk to my dad and each of my five brothers. They all say they miss me and that they're sorry I have food poisoning on Christmas. They've also sent me a Christmas present, so I have something to look forward to. After we hang up, I drink the rest of the Gatorade and cry until I fall asleep again.

[***]

When I wake up on Saturday morning, I'm feeling a lot better. The cabin is empty. There's another note on my nightstand: _At work. Hope u r better. – Z_

I log into my Gmail account to find the inbox full of emails from friends and family in Kettlecorn, wishing me a Merry Christmas. Naturally they've all heard I'm sick. There's even an email from Moose, which I don't open. Holly's account has three new emails from Cody, asking if she's OK and does she want to go to the Boxing Day Bash on the Gala Deck tonight. Exhaustion sweeps over me, and I shut down the laptop.

I can't deal with any of this right now. But I know I'll have to soon.

Under the hot shower spray, I scrub off what's left of my tan. As for the Scarlet Power hair, I guess I'm stuck with it. Regardless, my career as Holly Toledo is so over. After throwing up on Cody at the Christmas Eve party, I can never face him again as Holly. My mom is right—I need to be myself. And this means telling Cody that Holly doesn't exist and his buddy Bailey is really a very mixed-up small-town girl, who secretly dated his twin brother all semester. OK, I'll probably leave out that last part.

Zack obviously knows I've morphed into a redhead and that I've been moonlighting as a girl. But then again, why shouldn't I have fun over the holidays? I have my own life now. As long as he doesn't know that I'm Cody's puking Holly, we could still be friends. Or at least study buddies so he can stay at school here. He seemed nice enough yesterday when I was sick, and I really would hate to see him flunk out. Surely I could put up with him and ho-bag Addison until she leaves at the end of January (yippee!). Maybe Zack and I can become regular roommates, and I can go back to being "just one of the guys"—and life at Seven Seas High can return to some version of normal.

[***]

I see Cody in the dining room around noon on my way back from the biology lab. My backpack of clothing and makeup stayed safely hidden over Christmas. When he waves to me, I feel cornered, but since it's really time for some food, I join him with a mug of tea and a bowl of oatmeal. Every remnant of Holly is gone from my appearance, down to the Midnight Rose nail polish, which I remembered to rub off in the lab just now.

"Bailey, dude, how are you?" he asks in a concerned voice. "Zack told us you were really sick yesterday. A bunch of people onboard have food poisoning from a batch of bad shrimp."

_So I'm not the only one with food poisoning. That means there's no direct connection between Bailey and Holly both being sick._

"Yeah, that's what happened to me." I stir my oatmeal, round and round, and then round some more. Is now my chance to spill my guts about my double—I mean _triple_—life? I don't think so. My head feels too muddled, and Cody has almost finished his lunch.

"Are you up for the Boxing Day Bash on the Gala Deck tonight?" Cody asks, breaking into my thoughts. "I was going to go with Holly, you know the girl I told you about from the singles cruise? I don't think that's going to happen, though. She's also a victim of the bad shrimp."

"Sure, Cody," I say with a weak smile. "Sounds like fun."

"Great. I get off work at 7:30. See you then." And with that he leaves me to my oatmeal.

[***]

At 7:25 I'm in Cabin 8-102 getting ready for the Bash. After taking a long nap, I'm feeling much more alert. I even put on a festive outfit consisting of a bright red hoodie and my least faded baggy blue jeans. I slide on my boots, check my reflection in the mirror, and adjust my baseball cap.

One last performance as ghetto farmboy Bailey Pickett can't hurt. Tomorrow I'll tell Cody everything. I have no clue how I'll tell him—or how he'll react, or what the consequences will be—but I'll figure it out. I just need a plan.

* * *

**A/N: Mom always knows best, right? :) Can life at Seven Seas High return to "some version of normal"? For readers who have medical interests, Bailey had _Staphylococcus aureus_ food poisoning and fainted because she was dehydrated. Sports drinks like Gatorade help with recovery, which Zack would have discovered online.**

**Thanks for all the reading, reviewing, and encouragement, guys. You are all awesome! Xoxoxo – Ellie**


	16. Chapter 15: I Love You, Man

**A/N: Taking a cue from woundedhearts, I would like to start by thanking everyone again for the enthusiastic reviews and interest in this story. Your responses have given me a huge confidence boost in my writing skills and so many ideas. This forum has lots of great stories—**_**Two Brothers and a Pop Tart**_**; **_**Consequences; Boston, We Have a Problem; Last Moments of the SS Tipton; Words Can Hurt, In More Ways Than One;**_** and **_**Separated, but not Apart**_** to name just a few—so please keep reading and reviewing whenever you can! **

**[***]**

**The action in this scene takes place on the Gala Deck. After seeing the new TSLOD opening sequence, I "decided" the Gala Deck is the one above the Fiesta Deck (with the water slide pool) shown at the end of the sequence. The Gala Ballroom is the round area in the centre of this deck. So picture the events unfolding there! (Also the glass elevator on the Fiesta Deck is where Bailey and Cody met for their unforgettable second date in Chapter 12.)**

**And now the Christmas arc continues…

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**Chapter 15: "I Love You, Man"

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"Well, I'm starving," says Cody. "Christmas vacationers can't get enough of their towels. I'm going to the buffet." We've been at the Boxing Day Bash for about five minutes, waiting for the buffet mob to thin out. As we make our way to the front of the Gala Ballroom, I glimpse a huge spread of appetizers, salads, main dishes, and desserts.

"OK, I'll meet you back here," I reply, sipping my fruit punch. My stomach still isn't ready for a full-sized meal. While Cody is at the buffet, I fill a plate with crackers from a side table and scan the crowd for London. No sign of her, but Zack is at one of the ballroom's many bars, serving smoothies to a line of party-goers.

Cody returns in a few minutes with a second glass of punch and a plate piled high with chicken wings, potato salad, quiche, and spring rolls. He sure eats a lot for such a skinny guy. The sight of so much food churns my stomach, and I'm grateful when we find two seats at a table by the floor-to-ceiling windows.

"This is good stuff." He gulps down the punch and starts munching on a chicken wing.

Taking another sip of punch, I try not to feel grossed out by all the food. I'm perfectly happy with my crackers.

"I feel funny," says Cody all of a sudden. "Kind of light-headed and warm."

I glance down at his plate. "Hmmm, I don't see any shrimp." Then I pick up his glass and take a small whiff. The smell of alcohol stings my nostrils. "Dude, I think you went to the wrong punch bowl. This has rum in it. Couldn't you tell?"

"Huh?" He looks confused now. "I'm not really much of a drinker." _No surprise there._

"Just keep eating," I advise. "You'll feel better once you have some food in your stomach." It might be too late for this remedy, though. Poor Cody is already lolling against the window and his cheeks are a bright pink.

I push aside our plates and stand up, flashing back to all the barn dances last summer where I had to chaperone a wasted Moose. "Come on, Cody," I say, hauling him to his feet. "Let's go outside and get some air."

" 'Kay, Bailey." Cody stumbles after me, bumping into people. I wonder if I should get Zack, but the smoothie bar is still busy. Anyway, I think I can handle this.

Outside the atmosphere is merry. Underneath strings of coloured party lights, a band plays lively salsa music and people dance and mingle, laughing and bonding in the warm evening breeze. It's the same spot where the cocktail party was held on the first night of the singles cruise. I drag Cody over to the deck railing, away from the moving bodies. Down below on the Fiesta Deck, the celebration continues with people frolicking in the water slide pool and dancing to the DJ's mix.

It doesn't take long to see that Cody is the rambling melancholic sort of drunk. "My roommate farts classic rock," he laments as we look out over the rippling sea. The sun has already set and the sky glitters with stars. "Holly threw up when I told her I like her. I'll probably never see her again. I'm stuck being the ship's towel boy because my stupid brother bankrupted me. And my stupid brother may be flunking out of Seven Seas High." He turns to me and his chin quivers like he's about to cry. "Sea school was supposed to be fun, Bailey," he says bitterly. "But everything _sucks_."

"Hey, buddy," I say lamely, patting his shoulder. I can't even look him in the eye. Woody's gas is the only problem I haven't directly, or indirectly, caused. "Things will get better, you'll see." _Although I don't exactly know how..._

"Bailey, you're sush a good guy." Cody is slurring now. "You're like my best friend at Seven Seash High. I can alwaysh count on you." He throws his arms around me in a sloppy hug. "I love you, man."

I squirm, dizzy with guilt. Cody is still holding onto me as we both look up to see a sprig of mistletoe attached to the lights dangling overhead. Time slows down. Cody's face teeters closer and closer to mine—and when we finally kiss, I flinch.

_Oh no, what have I done now?_ This deception has gone way too far. I never thought it would come to this. I can't let Cody think he might be falling for a guy, on top of everything else. Pulling away from him, I take a deep breath and force myself to say it, here and now. "Cody, there's something I have to tell you." And then I take off my cap. My long red hair tumbles down around us.

Cody squints at me, his eyebrows furrowing, mouth hanging open, "Holly?" he manages at last.

"No, it's me, Bailey." Shame burns through me. "There is no Holly, just Bailey. I'm a girl." I take another deep breath. "I applied here as a boy because all the girls' spots were filled. I wanted to get away from Kettlecorn."

He takes a few moments to digest this. I can tell the alcohol is slowing his ability to process new information. "Does Zack know?" he asks then. The inevitable question.

I nod miserably. "I made him promise not to tell anyone I'm a girl at the beginning of the semester." The truth shows all over my face, I can feel it.

"Oh my God, are you and Zack...?" Cody starts, then breaks off in horror. The next inevitable question.

"No," I falter, sliding further down the shame spiral, "we broke up." At least I'm not lying about this. I want to tell him that Zack and I were a mistake, that I pretended to be Holly because he, Cody, is the one I want to be with. And most of all, I want to tell him how sorry I am for all these lies.

But before I can say anything more, Cody's face turns a queasy green. He sways for a moment, clutches the railing, and then throws up all over my boots. The irony is not lost on me. I know I deserve this.

"Uh, I guess we're even now," he mumbles.

Suddenly Zack is at Cody's side. "C'mon, buddy," he says, putting his arm possessively around Cody. "It's time to go." As he steers Cody toward the elevators, people automatically get out of the way, and Zack doesn't look back at me, not even once.

I stand by the railing, dazed and chilled, my feet reeking. All I can think is that I have never fucked up like this before.

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**A/N: Hmmm, it's not looking too good for life at Seven Seas High returning to "some version of normal" is it? But a Christmas story needs an ill-fated kiss under the mistletoe, so it had to happen. And yes, Cody's heart-felt line was inspired by the movie title **_**I Love You, Man**_**. What will happen next? Chapter 16 will be posted on Sunday. Thanks again, guys. Please read and review. Xoxoxo – Ellie**


	17. Chapter 16: Who Could Be the One?

**A/N: As Incendiary predicted, this chapter will be quite depressing. Bailey faces her darkest hour on the **_**S.S. Tipton**_**. Extra thanks to woundedhearts for the reminder that during life's most dire moments, a girl needs to buy new shoes.

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**Chapter 16: Who Could Be the One?

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I pour my heart out in an email to Cody as soon as I get back to Cabin 8-102. I tell him everything I had planned to say, if only I'd had a plan—that Zack and I broke up before Christmas, that I invented Holly Toledo because I'd realized too late that we were a perfect match, and every other explanation I can think of for all the lies and deceit I've dished out this semester. As I type I can hardly see the computer screen through my tears. I wonder if the twins can hear me crying from across the hall. I don't hear any sounds of yelling or furniture breaking in Cabin 8-101. I'm not sure if this is a good sign or not. When I'm satisfied with my email, I send it from my own Gmail account. Ms. Tutweiller has given me an A or A+ on all my assignments so far. I wonder what grade this sorry story would earn.

I start refreshing my inbox almost immediately, although Cody probably isn't checking his email tonight. _Will he ever be able to forgive me?_ I'm guessing that would be a "no." The look on his face when he realized I wasn't just his best friend Bailey but also his new girlfriend Holly _and_ Zack's secret ex-girlfriend makes me feel ill. And how much of that hideous mistletoe scene did Zack see? Did he see Cody and me kiss? Does he finally know I've been dating Cody disguised as Holly? Either possibility is too horrendous to contemplate.

My gut instinct about the Holly Toledo scam was right. On no planet could this _ever_ have been a good idea.

[***]

In between refreshing my inbox a gazillion times on Sunday and feeling like the world's biggest impostor, I catch up on my emails from Kettlecorn. There's plenty of news from Jamie-Beth, Carrie-Lynn, and Nate, my closest brother, plus more Christmas emails and another email from Moose. Kettlecorn gossip doesn't do much to take my mind off my own situation. It just reminds me how alone I am right now, how alone I've been all semester with no girlfriends to help me figure things out. Should I just take a chance and tell Jamie-Beth the whole story? No, she's dating Chris Trimble now, who's best friends with my brother Brad—which makes her a very weak link in the chain back to my parents. If everybody dies famous in a small town, I can live without forever being known as the girl who dated twins at sea school.

Twenty-four hours go by and then another 24. I feel confined to the cabin for fear of running into either Zack or Cody in the hallway or somewhere on deck. I order cabin service with what's left on my cash card and go out early Monday morning to buy new shoes on the Plaza Deck since I really do need them. Afterwards I wander around the Main Deck. The beautiful atrium fountain makes me burst into tears right there in the garden. How could I have done this to Cody? We had such a good time on our second date, both before and after my freak-out that landed us in the closet of Cabin 2-330. It was the most unforgettable night of my life.

Cody still hasn't emailed me back, of course. I remember him saying that his laptop has been acting up, so there's always the possibility that he didn't get my email. But the most likely reason is that he doesn't want to see or hear from me ever again. Maybe he hasn't even opened my email.

[***]

By Monday night, there's only one thing left to do. I dig out my suitcase and start to pack. My new life as a sea-faring high school student has been shipwrecked. The _S.S. Tipton_ will dock in Miami on the weekend, and I have enough money in my savings account to buy a Greyhound bus ticket to Kettlepod. I can't stay here, not with Woody returning in three days. Obviously Zack and I can't go back to being roommates, and once Woody finds out what a terrible person I am he won't want anything to do with me, either. Not to mention, it's only a matter of time now before everyone else at Seven Seas High discovers I'm a girl. I may as well try to re-enroll at Kettlepod District High School before my whole future is sabotaged. I can stay in the storage room on the lower deck with the rats and barnacle poison until Saturday morning.

Packing goes faster than I expected. The cabin may be messy, but most of my stuff is in my closet, dresser or desk. If nothing else, I'm _not_ going to miss living with a slob, nor the gigantic "Z" on the wall, made of blank CDs. While sifting through comic books and other debris on the floor, I find Zack's purple Brooklyn Bridge t-shirt. I really like that shirt. Part of me wants to keep it, but I'm not eager to add "thief" to the other unflattering labels I've acquired lately.

What will Mom and Dad say when I show up on the doorstep? What can I tell them—that I was homesick? If they find out I lived with a guy all semester, they'll lock me in my room until I go away to college. Or perhaps, like small-town parents of a teenaged daughter, they'll just be thankful I'm not pregnant. No, no chance of that. Moose is still my first and only. I never felt ready to take that step with Zack, which I suppose answers the question Cody was too upset to ask me at the Bash. I haven't opened either of Moose's emails. Just a few months ago, I actually believed he was my first love and now I ignore emails from him. And just a few weeks ago, I thought I was in love with Zack. Yet even before the Saturday Night Horror Show, we could barely be in the same room together.

_Well, Bailey_, I say to myself as I close my suitcase, which bulges dangerously thanks to Holly's wardrobe, w_hat have you learned from this depressing experience?_ One, listen to Mom when she says "Just be yourself." Two, stick to watching drama on _Mackenzie Falls_, instead of creating it. And three, love SUCKS.

All that's left now are the photos on the wall behind our beds. Some are Zack's, some are mine. I take down my photos and spread them on my bed. They're mostly of the five of us—me, Zack, Cody, Woody, and London (who _loves_ to be photographed). There's a tiny smudge of octopus ink on my left cheek in a photo from a mid-September barbecue. More tears. I won't get to say good-bye to Woody or London, which also makes me sad.

At least I'll get to see Grammy again and return her curtain. Another of her sayings is "ifs and buts will drive you nuts." As I sit here surrounded by photos, the various ifs and buts torture me. I think of London's friend Hannah Montana, my favourite singer, who recently had to choose between her on-again/off-again boyfriend Jake Ryan and guitar cutie Jesse. London told me the story during one of our rare chats before school ended. Eventually Hannah listened to her heart and chose Jake. I'll never have to choose between Zack and Cody. But just for argument's sake, if ho-bag Addison weren't in the picture, if I hadn't royally fucked up at the Boxing Day Bash, who would I choose? Who could be the one?

_Smooth talkin', so rockin'  
He's got everything that a girl's wantin'  
Guitar cutie, he plays it groovy  
And I can't keep myself from doin' somethin' stupid_

_Think I'm really fallin' for his smile  
Yeah, butterflies when he says my name  
Hey!_

Zack is fun and exciting, and he makes me laugh. I could feel the sparks between us literally as soon as we met. Cody is so different. He's sensitive, intellectual, and heart-breakingly sweet. Yet we click, too. I know he felt it, even though he thought I was someone else for those three days.

_He's got somethin' special  
He's got somethin' special  
And when he's lookin' at me  
I wanna get all sentimental_

_He's got somethin' special  
He's got somethin' special  
I can hardly breathe somethin's tellin' me  
Tellin' me maybe he could be the one_

Both twins have something special. So what does my heart tell me? Even if I knew the answer, it wouldn't matter now. And I certainly don't expect the porthole to suddenly fly open and blow the answer into my lap. That only happens on TV. Sighing, I stuff the photos into the front pocket of my suitcase and take a last look around Cabin 8-102.

Then I hear a knock at the door. Crossing my fingers, I call out, "Who is it?"

* * *

**A/N: Apologies for the totally cliché cliffhanger—I needed it to set up the next arc. The lyrics are from the Hannah Montana song "He Could Be the One" which is kind of upbeat for this chapter, but still seemed to fit. So who could be at the door? Anybody want to guess? There are at least 8 possibilities, not including Woody, who is still in the Bahamas with his family. Thanks, as always, for all the reviews, alerts, and encouragement. You guys totally rock! Xoxoxo – Ellie**


	18. Chapter 17: Crazy About You

**A/N: You guys truly rock! I am so impressed with all the clever, well-thought-out guesses as to who is at Bailey's cabin door, including a couple that I hadn't even thought of (namely Porkers :). After all the confusing clues and false foreshadowing, the bonus points go to Lodylodylody and Wyntirsno for having the right idea, because ever since the first day of sea school, when has anyone other than Cody come knocking on Bailey's door?

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**Chapter 17: "Crazy About You"

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As soon as I know Cody is at the door, I rush to open it. He's wearing his towel boy uniform and the same white jacket from our first date on the singles cruise. His hands are in his pockets. I try to read his expression, but for the first time ever I can't.

"Hi, Cody," I say as bravely as I can. "Come on in."

He walks in, I shut the door and we stand uneasily in the middle of the cabin.

"Going somewhere?" he asks, noticing the suitcase on my bed.

"Yeah, I'm going home to Kettlecorn." Might as well just come out with it. "Back to swilling hogs. The ship will drop me off in Miami in a few days. I've caused enough trouble for one semester."

Cody looks surprised. "You don't have to leave."

"Yes, I do. I can't go back to pretending to be a boy after all that's happened, and even if Mr. Moseby and Ms. Tutweiller didn't expel me from Seven Seas High, they'd never let me stay since there are no empty girls' cabins." It's my turn to ramble. "Cody, I am so, so sorry. I feel terrible about lying to you all this time and about the whole Holly hoax. I never meant to embarrass you or hurt your feelings. I just got confused about, well, everything. I don't blame you if you hate me." My email in a nutshell, in case he hasn't read it.

"I could never hate you, Bailey," Cody says.

"Really?" Can he be serious?

"OK, Saturday night was pretty humiliating. I never expected to find out you'd been masquerading as a guy all semester. Or that you and Zack had been sneaking around behind everyone's backs this whole time. That's pretty deceptive, even for Zack." He fidgets with his gamma ray deflector. "I felt totally used, like you'd made up this fake Holly person just to get back at him."

I hadn't thought of that angle and now I feel even worse. "The Boxing Day Bash was humiliating for me, too," I insist, dropping another rung on the shame spiral. "Trust me, it was a low point in my life, even worse than the year everyone forgot my birthday. And I wasn't using you, Cody, I promise. I really did want to go out with you, so I made up Holly thinking you'd never find out I was her since the singles cruise is only for 12 days. I never wanted to hurt you. I just wanted you to have a fun Christmas."

"Well, uh, thanks," he says after this speech. "That's nice to know."

"So I guess Zack knows I'm Holly?" My heart sinks as I ask this question. I shudder to think how Zack must loathe me for messing around with Cody in so many senses of that expression.

"No, he never saw what happened between us and I didn't tell him the truth about Holly," Cody replies.

Now I'm the surprised one. "Why didn't you tell him?" It occurs to me that sweet, fragile Cody is probably planning to blackmail me into doing Zack's homework for the rest of the semester in exchange for keeping his mouth shut so that Zack won't flunk out of school.

"I couldn't," says Cody, "because, Bailey, my brother is crazy about you."

_Woah, where did _that_ come from?_ My heartbeat skips and I have to grip the edge of my desk. But I can't just accept this sudden revelation. "Yeah, crazy in general," I scoff. "Whatever happened between us didn't mean anything. It was just a fling, a big mistake."

Cody regards me skeptically. "Do you really believe that?"

"Why?" I ask suspiciously. I can't hide that my interest is caught. "Did Zack actually tell you he's 'crazy about me'?"

Cody turns the gamma ray deflector over. "He didn't have to. My twin telepathy figured it out as soon as he said 'So you finally found out Bailey is a girl?' in the elevator on Saturday night. I don't remember much after that, but then when I read your email everything made sense."

"So you did get my email?"

"Yeah, on Sunday morning. I just needed some time to think things over. Yesterday wasn't exactly a fun day. I am _never _drinking again."

"I wish I could go back to Saturday night and stop you from going to that punch bowl. Or back to the first day of school." My tone sounds persuasive to me. "Zack and I should never have gotten together. We are _so_ different, and anyway, isn't he with Addison now? I heard her say the day before Christmas Eve that she was going to hook up with him that night."

Cody gives me a "do you believe everything you hear?" look. "Zack flirts a lot, it's just who he is, but I don't think you need to worry about Addison. Zack and I have played video games every night since school ended, except for Christmas Eve. He hasn't even seen her outside of the smoothie bar. He did mention she's kind of annoying, but since she's completely addicted to the sugar high from Holiday Happiness smoothies he has to put up with her while he's at work."

_So Addison isn't in the picture? _I manage to play it cool, though. "Oh well, so what? Like I said, Zack and I have _nothing_ in common."

Cody rolls his eyes. "Oh please. Lying about your relationship, sneaking around, crashing the Starlight Follies, tampering with singles cruise questionnaires, breaking curfew, 'borrowing' cabin keycards?"

"Point taken." _Hmmmm..._

"And you're both good at sports, and can tolerate Woody, _and_ living in this pigsty," he contends, nudging a pile of clothes with his foot.

I bristle. "Hey, the mess is all Zack's."

"And even if you guys had nothing in common, it's not like opposites never attract."

Fair enough, except I need more answers. "You're the one who told me he has commitment issues," I challenge. "As in 'he can't commit to anything more than a cellphone plan.' You really freaked me out while we were playing pool on the Sky Deck."

"That was before I knew who you were," he clarifies. "Zack has never kept his big mouth shut about _anything_ for this long—not even when there was something in it for him. But he kept your identity a secret for months so you wouldn't get sent back to Kansas or ruin your perfect school record. I definitely remember him saying that in the elevator. That's pretty committed for Zack." He puts the gamma ray deflector back in his pocket. "And he was really worried about you when you had food poisoning. He stayed in your cabin most of Christmas Day. He didn't even want to go to the big Christmas party with London and me."

"For real?" I feel myself smiling at this recent memory, until a few other things come to mind. "Zack can be so sweet when he wants to be. And then he can be just as obnoxious and selfish. Like when he wasted all his money for the semester and stole your cash card. The flowers were for me, in case you hadn't guessed. I'm sorry about that, too."

"He was just trying to impress you, Bailey. Cut the guy some slack, he's never been in love before."

I'm smiling again. But I do have one more argument for our cat and mouse game. "He makes me _so_ mad."

Cody raises an eyebrow at me in a very Zack-like way. "The lady doth protest too much, methinks."

"Trust _you_ to quote Shakespeare at a time like this." I feel miffed. The guy really is too good for me.

"My brother _is_ infuriating," he agrees. "But if you love him, you won't be able to stay mad at him for long, no matter how hard you try. And believe me, Bailey, no one has tried harder than I have."

Well, he's got me there. Zack can make me laugh even when I'm totally furious with him—there's no disputing this fact.

"You and Zack belong together," Cody adds. "If you don't give him another chance, you'll regret it. I know you will, someday."

If only I had confided in Cody that night on the Sky Deck (_wow, was that only two weeks ago?_) and spared us all this torment. Because now, even though Cody has systematically dismantled my reasons why Zack and I are wrong for each other, one detail still nags at me.

"But what about us?" I can't help asking and take a step closer to him. I know there is no "us"—but there could have been, at least under different circumstances.

Cody leans against my desk and stares down at his sneakers. Finally he looks up and says, "Zack and I have always said we'd never let a girl come between us, and we've stuck to that, for the most part."

"I understand." And I do.

His serious expression shifts then and his blue-green eyes twinkle. "We did have some good times, though, didn't we?"

"Mr. M, you forgot your pants!" I mimic. That line will stay with me forever. It's burned into my brain.

Suddenly we're laughing hysterically. "Oh man, that was classic." Cody doubles over on my desk. "I could _not_ believe it when Mr. Moseby and Ms. Tutweiller started getting it on in that empty cabin. And of course you knew it was them while we were hiding in the closet."

"Guilty as charged," I confess. "I was so proud of you for thinking on your feet like that and getting them to leave in such a hurry."

"It had to be done." He's wiping away tears. "You should have seen Zack when I told him about that night. He laughed so hard I thought I was going to have to call the ship's paramedics."

"I guess we'll always have the closet in Cabin 2-330." I say, sensing the nostalgia of the moment.

He nods. "Holly Toledo's identity will be our little secret."

I feel an immense rush of gratitude. "Thank you for being so understanding about all this." I hold out my arms and he hugs me. "You're a really great friend, Cody," I say into his shoulder a little while later. His embrace feels warm and safe, and I don't want to let go. Tears are building up in my eyes.

"Yeah, I know." Cody squeezes me a bit tighter, his chin resting on my head. I can hear the sadness in both our voices. The friend zone always sucks, even when it's for the greater good. His fingers stroke my hair, but only for a second.

My cheeks are hot when we separate. I pull at a loose thread on my hoodie.

Cody speaks first. "You should go. Zack's shift is almost over." He looks jarred, too, and pushes his hands into his jacket pockets. "I know he'll be happy to see you. He's too stubborn to tell you that he misses you."

My palms begin to sweat from anxiety, creating a diversion from this awkwardness. Will Zack want to see me in spite of everything? And does he really love me? I guess I'll soon find out.

Then Cody's hand is on my shoulder again. "You better be nice to him, Bailey," he warns. The protectiveness in his tone is unmissable. "Zack's been in such a crappy mood lately. He's even talked about dropping out of Seven Seas High."

"Don't worry. I can handle this." I try to sound confident as I don my trusty baseball cap, tucking away any stray locks of red hair.

"You don't need to bother with the hat," he assures me. "Nobody from school is here, and Mr. Moseby and Ms. Tutweiller are so wrapped up in each other, they wouldn't even notice if the ship was sinking."

_That reminds me..._ "What's going on with them, anyway? I saw them at the cocktail party on the first night of the singles cruise, before you got there. Have they been sneaking around ever since the Starlight Follies incident?"

Cody laughs. "That's all courtesy of Zack and London. They fixed up Mr. Moseby and Ms. Tutweiller for the singles cruise to get them off our backs over the holidays. London said she and Zack had to change their dating questionnaire answers to make them match up. Turns out they weren't a match for anyone."

"So that's why Zack and London showed up at the cocktail party. I _knew_ they were up to something." Maybe London isn't as dumb as she seems.

I have one last question before we go. "Tell me, Cody, and be brutally honest, did you ever suspect I was really a girl?"

"Well, a few times I did think something weird was going on with you and Zack, but hey, we're at an experimental age." He glances away and I know he's remembering the ill-fated mistletoe kiss, of which we will never speak. Ever. "And once or twice I thought maybe you could be a girl. I mean, you've been a super-good influence on Zack. My brother has never worn deodorant on such a regular basis. Or opened his textbooks before midterms."

All I can do is laugh, which helps calm the jittery sensation in my stomach. As I close the door, I wonder if my days at Seven Seas High aren't over after all. At the end of the hallway, I stop and turn around to see Cody standing outside Cabin 8-101. He gives me a small wave, and my heart skips another beat. I hope I'm making the right decision...

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**A/N: Twin telepathy comes to the rescue, along with a shout-out to the movie **_**Casablanca**_** for the eternal reminder that "We'll always have Paris." But will Bailey make the right decision? Btw, the false foreshadowing about Moose in the previous chapter was simply a commentary on how people come and go from our lives. Thanks and so much love for keeping up with the reviews and alerts, you guys. Xoxoxo – Ellie**


	19. Chapter 18: Of All the Smoothie Bars

**A/N: Wow, you guys, I was so touched by the emotional response to the last chapter, especially the outpouring of sympathy for Cody. However, every story has several sides to it. This chapter tells another side…

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**Chapter 18: "Of All the Smoothie Bars on the Ship, She Walks into Mine"

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I could take the elevator up to Easy Squeezy, but the stairs will take longer and give me a chance to organize my thoughts. Cody has handed me the answers I needed all semester about Zack's personality and our relationship. Now I can see that we broke up because we misunderstood each other and didn't communicate very well. Living in our two-person bubble, with no one else to rely on, made me too afraid to be honest with Zack. Cody, on the other hand, understands us both. Only someone who really gets me would be able to forgive me for the Holly stunt and all the other lies. Or someone who really loves his twin brother and just wants him to be happy. I should have known Cody would choose Zack over me. Does this mean Zack could be the one?

When I arrive at Deck 13, I slow down to survey the scene. Looks like a typical night—deck lights glowing, moon shining overhead, a few people in the hot tub, others lounging on deck chairs. The towel station is empty. Zack is still at Easy Squeezy. It's almost 10:00, so I have to hurry if my plan is going to work.

I run my fingers through my ponytail and apply a layer of Diva Red lipgloss. This is my first time up here as my real self. Being a redhead makes me feel braver somehow and I square my shoulders. When Zack changes the daily specials board, I run over to the counter.

"Can I still place an order?" I ask, hoping my voice doesn't tremble.

Zack doesn't turn around. "Depends on what you want."

_Time to smile and sell it._ "I want to start over."

He turns around slowly, and I can't tell if he's surprised to see me or not. "Well, well," he remarks, folding his arms across his chest, left eyebrow angled. "Of all the smoothie bars on the ship, she walks into mine."

I almost giggle at this reference to _Casablanca_—yet another thing we have in common—but suddenly I'm tongue-tied. Of the two of us, I am the guiltiest party, and even though Zack is so hot, I can't just swoon like I used to. First I have to explain myself.

He places a banana fofana smoothie in front of me. _Oh, sweet relief_, I think as I take my first sip. My head begins to clear and I tell him what I came here to say, starting with "Thank you for looking after me when I had food poisoning. That was really nice of you. You might have even saved my life."

"No problem," he says neutrally, gathering smoothie cups from the countertop. "We're still friends."

_Not exactly what I was hoping to hear. _"And thank you again for dinner at the Neptune Room," I continue, thinking of his angry words from the cash card fight. That was when everything between us began to unravel. "It meant so much to me, and it wasn't a waste of money."

"I just wanted you to have a special night. I thought you knew that." He doesn't quite meet my gaze and takes out a rag to clean the counter.

"I did, I do. I was too scared to tell you how much everything meant to me, how much you mean to me, because I thought maybe you didn't feel the same way about me." It's time for a lame joke to ease the tension. "I didn't want to rock the boat, ha ha, with us being roommates and you being the only one here to know I'm really a girl. I guess it was just easier to let things drift."

Zack keeps on wiping the countertop. "Yeah, living together has been kind of crazy. But fun." _OK, I recognize that smirk._

"Totally." I wish he'd put the rag down because it's distracting me while I bare my soul. "And I never wanted us to break up," I reveal, recalling that awful night when I thought he was choosing Addison over me. "I should have told you that instead of running away. We could have talked about everything. I was just hurt and confused. I thought you liked Addison and you'd lost interest in me."

"Oh," he says. "I thought you were losing interest in me." He starts to scrub the sink, facing away from me. "You know, you take Cody's side a lot."

Fear strikes through my heart. _Uh oh, _w_hat am I going to say now?_ I know my feelings for Cody were genuine, as were Cody's feelings for me. And yet Cody is the main reason I'm standing at the counter right now. So I go with the safest explanation I can give. "I'm a younger sibling, too, and I know what it's like to be pushed around by an older brother. It's a sensitive thing for me. I'm sorry." _Will he see right through me, the same way Cody can?_ "And Zack, I was so jealous over Addison, you have no idea," I add, because this is the truth.

"Don't worry about it," he says then and stops scrubbing. "Nothing ever happened between me and her. And anyway, she's not my type. She's nothing like you."

"I am so glad to hear you say that." I grab for the rag, feeling myself blush all the way to the roots of my red hair.

However, I'm not out of the woods yet. "I was beginning to think I wasn't your type, though," he states flatly and looks directly into my eyes for the first time during this conversation. "You seemed really mad at me at all the time, and it's not like I didn't apologize for the times I did screw up. Look, Bailey, I'm not going to chase after you if we're wrong for each other."

Now that I know all the facts about Addison, I can see our break-up really did hurt him. As clueless and self-centred as it sounds, I didn't fully understand that before tonight.

"You are totally my type, Zack," I say honestly, tears prickling at the corners of my eyes. Happier memories come flooding back to me... countless games of pool and Putt Putt Golf, our surprise role in the Follies show, the way he kissed me that night on the Starlight Deck, seeing his face first thing every morning for close to four months. "We have so much fun together, and you always make laugh. I just overreact a lot, but I can never stay mad at you."

"I overreacted, too." He rolls my empty smoothie cup between his hands on the countertop. "I guess I was just feeling vulnerable and unappreciated. And yeah, we did have an awesome semester."

After he says this, I so badly want to lean across the counter and hug him. "This is all new to me," I say shakily. "I've never been away from home before." My voice turns shy and I fiddle with the rag. The final moment of truth is upon us. "And I've never been in love before, either."

_Now all my cards are on the table—make that "countertop._" I hold my breath and hope for the best.

Zack puts the cup aside and steps out from behind the counter. "Come here, sweet thang," he says with that magnetic smile and my knees go weak. _Oh, thank goodness..._

But when he reaches for me, a sharp pang of guilt forces me to pull away. I need the slate to be clean—despite how much I may end up regretting what I'm about to say. "You know..." My voice is about to crumble. "While we were apart I–"

He cuts me off with another smile. "Hey, whatever. We were on a break."

And then I'm back in his arms again, and we're kissing for real, passionately and hungrily, closing every space between us. I feel his hands touching my face, tangling in my hair, as our lips and tongues crush together. The sparks are still there, just like they've always been, drawing us to each other almost automatically. It's like our first kiss all over again, except this time the intensity of how much I've missed him amazes me.

Zack lifts me up and swings me around amid cheers and applause from spectators. I can practically hear imaginary violins playing. After months of hiding, I don't mind the spotlight. I just want this moment to last and last and last.

[***]

I begin to realize this might not happen as a loud hearty voice rises above the others, accompanied by energetic clapping. "Bravo, brava, you two! That was _quite_ the performance."

When I dare to open my eyes, I see Mr. Moseby and Ms. Tutweiller on the stairs leading up to the Sky Deck. She's holding his pink pocket hanky to her cheek, looking stunned, and he wears an expression of sinister bemusement.

It's too late to hide under the counter. We are _so_ busted. Maybe it's a good thing I've already packed my suitcase...

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**A/N: So Bailey drinks her banana fofana smoothie and eats her words. But will it even matter now? Special thanks to woundedhearts for contributing additional insights to this chapter.**

**For any readers who watch **_**Friends**_** reruns, Bailey and Zack's break-up is based on the Season 3 episode "The One Where Ross & Rachel Take a Break" including the suspicions of cheating at work, uncertain break-up terms, potentially unforgivable betrayal, and the memorable line "We were on a break"—but with all the boy-girl roles reversed for a completely different result. The episode was referenced in a later **_**Friends**_** episode where Cole Sprouse played Ross's son Ben. The title of this chapter is a play on the famous line from **_**Casablanca**_** spoken by Humphrey Bogart's character Rick when the girl he loves shows up at his bar unexpectedly: "Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine."**


	20. Chapter 19: He's My Hooligan& I Love Him

**A/N: Once again, there's trouble on this floating paradise. Duhn, duhn, duhn...

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**Chapter 19: "He's My Hooligan and I Love Him"

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"Mr. Moseby, I can explain," says Zack right away, setting me down. I myself am astounded I can hear anything at all over my heartbeat banging in my ears.

Mr. Moseby shoots a thunderous look at Zack. "Yes, Zack, I'm, sure _you_ could," he intones icily. "_You_ could explain why the moon is made of green cheese." He turns to me instead. The moment I have dreaded since my baseball cap slip-up in our cabin on the first day of school is finally here. "I'd rather hear what Bailey has to say for _herself_."

"But–"

"Zzzzzt!" shrills Mr. Moseby. He and Ms. Tutweiller are looming over us now at the Easy Squeezy counter. Their glares close in on me. All the scheming, conniving and trauma of the semester has boiled down to this one ultimate confrontation.

"_Miss_ Pickett, why on Earth would you masquerade as a boy all semester?" demands our teacher. Her tone conveys both disbelief and disappointment.

"And _why_," interjects Mr. Moseby, "would you get mixed up with this..." he eyes Zack distastefully "...this hooligan?"

"He's my hooligan and I love him," I say defiantly. I know I'm not helping our cause, but at least I'm telling the truth. And considering my track record on the _S.S. Tipton_, this is progress.

"And I love her," says Zack, squeezing my hand.

Mr. Moseby sighs in exasperation and rolls his eyes skyward. Evidently he's dismissing us as sneaky, hormonal brats.

"OK, I think we all get that." Ms. Tutweiller's nervous sarcasm makes me realize _everyone_ on deck is watching with interest. She proceeds with the interrogation. "But _why_ have been you been masquerading as a boy all this time, Bailey? Why would you do such a thing?"

Now that I'm the centre of attention, I shrink. "Well I..." I mumble. "I don't know." Even though Zack is still holding my hand, I have no bravado left. In fact, I might be about to cry, yet again.

Zack comes to my rescue, as only he can. "Yes, you do," he speaks up. "It was her only way to get out of Popcorn, Kansas. Look, this girl was meant for bigger things than to shuck hogs. Seven Seas High was Bailey's one and only chance to get off the farm, which she's dreamed of doing her whole life. You can't send her back to Caramelcorn."

I'm so touched by this speech, I don't even bother to remind him that the town is called Kettlecorn and that if you try to shuck a pig, it will bite you.

Mr. Moseby and Ms. Tutweiller are less impressed. "Is this true, Bailey?" asks Ms. Tutweiller.

"Yes," I admit, finding my words. There's no reason to lie anymore. "I applied here in June as a boy because all the girls' spots were taken. I couldn't wait another year to get out of Kettlecorn, I just couldn't, and Seven Seas High would look really good on a college application. I was afraid you'd send me home if you found out I was really a girl." I let go of Zack's hand, because he's in enough trouble already with academic probation. "If you have to expel me, I understand. But please don't blame Zack, he was just keeping a promise to me."

The adults seem to consider my confession. They exchange a long, grim look. At last Mr. Moseby breaks the silence. "I do understand your reasons, Bailey. But this doesn't change the fact that you enrolled at Seven Seas High under false pretenses, or that both of you flagrantly broke school rules for months by illicitly sharing a cabin." _Here it comes. Good-bye, Ivy League scholarship. Hello, Kettlepod Beauty School._ "I'm afraid Ms. Tutweiller and I have no choice but to expel you both. We have a responsibility to show that we take discipline very seriously."

"But she's your best student," Zack argues to Ms. Tutweiller.

"Rules are rules, Zack. We can't just make exceptions." Ms. Tutweiller's brown eyes are glassy but serious. "You should have talked to us about this on the first day of classes, Bailey. Perhaps we could have found some solution to your predicament."

"Well, so much for taking one for the team," Zack says to me with a half-hearted smile.

I chew on my lip, feeling nothing but emptiness. I can't even cry. My worst nightmare has officially come true.

"Daddy won't like that!" a voice rings out.

_I'd know that snooty voice anywhere._ Never has the sight of London Tipton been more welcome. She stalks across the deck in a short purple dress and pointy shoes, hands on her hips, glossy lips pursed. Cody is with her.

"Excuse me?" asks Mr. Moseby, visibly disconcerted by their sudden appearance. "Your father won't like what?"

London and Cody join our group at the Easy Squeezy counter. I glance at Zack to see if he knew this was coming, but he looks just as caught off guard as I feel.

"That you didn't notice these two sneaking around, right under your noses," Cody explains to Mr. Moseby. "Really, Mr. Moseby, such negligence. Think of the public relations scandal."

"You know how Daddy hates those," London says sternly, wagging a purple-polished finger at Mr. Moseby. "You may be one of Daddy's favourite employees now, Moseby, but if he finds out about this, you'll be lucky to be Cody's assistant when he's through with you. And _you_," she turns to Ms. Tutweiller, "can go back to being a waitress, or showgirl, or whatever."

Ms. Tutweiller gasps and covers her mouth with the pocket hanky. She glances fearfully between London and Mr. Moseby, who is still speechless. I realize Cody is right about the legal issue—both my parents and their mom likely do have grounds to sue Seven Seas High for professional negligence. I hadn't even realized that could happen.

"Maybe you've _both_ been a little distracted this semester," Cody continues, looking intently first at Mr. Moseby, then at Ms. Tutweiller. "Would Mr. Tipton care to know anything about that?" He arches an eyebrow at them, causing Zack to snicker. "Mr. M," Cody adds meaningfully. I have to hand it to Cody—he really does know how to fix a broken situation. No matter what happens next, that boy will always be my favourite evil genius.

Mr. Moseby and Ms. Tutweiller "ahem," cough, blink, and squirm. Her face turns the same shade as the pink pocket hanky. They're as busted as Zack and I are, and they know it. I sneak a peek at Cody and London, who are standing on the other side of Zack. Cody looks slightly worried, but London wears a self-righteous glare, blatantly enjoying the power trip. She's used to getting her own way. If she really wanted to, she could probably order her dad to fire Mr. Moseby and Ms. Tutweiller as a favour to her, to make up for how he ditched her at Christmas.

Even though the odds now appear to be in our favour, I still feel my entire future hanging in the balance, along with my future with Zack. So it can't hurt to cross my fingers behind my back and mutely plead, _Please, please accept being blackmailed, just this once. I know I've made some mistakes this semester—OK, a lot of mistakes—but please don't send me back to Kettlecorn, away from everybody here that I love, or destroy my chances of getting into a good college, or separate the twins, because they don't deserve that._

"Oh, very well," concedes Mr. Moseby with an irritated sigh. He returns his focus to Zack and me. "Both of you can stay at Seven Seas High. Ms. Tutweiller has always praised your school work, Bailey." _Welcome back, Ivy League scholarship!_ "And as for you, Zack, I know how you like to go to extremes. But..." Here he pauses, the wheels plainly turning in his head.

_Of course, there has to be a "but."_

We all wait with baited breath, even Ms. Tutweiller. Will Zack and I have to swab every deck on the ship as punishment? I wouldn't put it past Mr. Moseby to make us clean the outside of the ship, too, and perhaps the bottom of the ocean.

Then Mr. Moseby switches his ominous gaze from us to London. "Bailey is going to become your roommate, London," he finishes decisively.

A tidal wave of joy fills me. _I can stay at Seven Seas High _and_ share London's private suite!_ Immediately I hop over to the heiress and fling my arms around her, gushing, "Thank you, thank you, London!"

"What?" she screeches, jerking away from me.

"Don't think I haven't noticed you have a cabin all to yourself, London," Mr. Moseby admonishes, already back to his usual pompous self. "I'm not _completely_ blind. Plus, we keep getting mail for a Padma Singh in Cabin 8-201." His dark eyes narrow at London. "Would you happen to know anything about that? Or should I just ask your father?"

_No way! Is Mr. Moseby saying London's single cabin _isn't_ a private suite?_

"Padma Singh?" asks Ms. Tutweiller, puzzled. "That name sounds familiar. She was registered as a student here, but never showed up when classes began."

"Oh, _her_," says London with disgust. "I had to make her leave, her clothes were _hideous_. But don't worry, I made it worth her while."

My panic is starting to return. If London won't let me be her roommate, I'm going to lose everything. "Please, London, can I be your roommate?" I beg tearfully. "I'll be your BFF." I'll even kneel at her feet and kiss her pointy shoe, if need be.

Mr. Moseby gives London a steely-eyed stare. It feels like he actually is on my side.

London pouts and huffs, beaten at her own game. "But I _want_ my own room, Moseby! Why do you think I didn't tell anyone Bailey was a girl all semester?" She shrugs her filthy rich shoulders. "Duh!"

Of all of the surprises tonight, this bombshell is the most shocking I could have possibly imagined. How could _London_ be the only one to have known my secret all this time?

From the way Zack, Cody, Mr. Moseby and Ms. Tutweiller are staring open-mouthed at her, they're wondering the same thing.

"How..." I start to ask but can't get the question out.

London eyes me up and down critically. "I knew you couldn't be a boy," she says with patent heiress scorn. "I mean, no self-respecting ghetto farmboy would wear those rags—they're _so_ 1995."

I rest my case. London _definitely_ isn't as dumb as she seems, in her own special way.

Suddenly everyone is talking at once. Ms. Tutweiller and Mr. Moseby scold London for keeping my identity a secret from them, London insists she needs her space, and Zack says "Dude, you rock" to Cody and kisses the top of his head. Even in my shell-shocked state, slumped against the counter because I don't trust myself not to faint, I am beyond relieved that their brotherly bond hasn't been damaged.

"Focus, people!" Mr. Moseby shouts into the hubbub. "It's 10:30 at night already. Bailey, you have exactly _one hour_ to pack your things. I will personally escort you to London's cabin at 11:30 on the dot. Good luck with that."

[***]

"I can't believe Mr. Moseby let you come back here with me," I say to Zack five minutes later as I unlock the door of Cabin 8-102. "He probably thought I'd need help finding my stuff among all your mess. I guess that's what he meant by 'good luck with that.' "

"Why are you already packed?" asks Zack before I've even shut the door. _Crap,_ there's my suitcase on my bed, right where I left it when Cody knocked on the door, almost two hours ago.

It shouldn't take much to distract Zack from this blip. "Lucky guess?" I offer innocently. "Anyway, I'm sure we can find something else to do in here for," I check my watch, "fifty-four minutes."

"What did you have in mind?" He moves nearer. That raised eyebrow tells me he has a few ideas of his own.

I dodge away and unearth a biology textbook from his cluttered desk. "Studying," I announce with glee, "because I am _not_ letting you flunk out of Seven Seas High, Zackary Martin!" I sit on his bed and open the book to a random page.

" 'Why is life organized into cells?' " I read in my most studious voice.

"Ha, ha, Bailey, you're such a riot." Zack sounds dejected but sits down next to me. Before my latest charade can go on, I burst into giggles and tip back on the bed, pulling me with him.

He falls onto me, laughing. "I knew you just were kidding," he says, his mouth barely an inch from mine. I can see the cute freckles sprinkled across the bridge of his nose. It's _so_ time for that make-up kiss to continue...

"I guess I won't need these 'rags' anymore," I point out when I have enough air in my lungs to talk. I raise my arms over my head.

"Yeah, London will probably burn them." Zack throws my battered hoodie onto the floor. "Just as well."

I slide my hands under his Easy Squeezy shirt. Our last kiss before tonight was when he gave me the roses. I still can't believe that was only two weeks ago. All I want now is to feel him close to me again—and judging from Zack's happy grin, the desire is mutual. Very, very mutual. "I really missed you, Zack." My fingertips tingle from touching his skin.

"I missed you, too, babe." He trails kisses along my neck down to the thin straps of my tank top, and I shiver despite the heat between us. "Everything sucks without you."

Involuntarily I remember what Cody said at the Boxing Day Bash, except then everything sucked _because_ of me. Among his reasons for letting me go, Cody must have realized that Zack needs me.

My thoughts are quickly derailed when Zack rolls me on top of him. "I love your new hair," he says, grabbing a handful of my Scarlet Powered ponytail. His fingers graze my shoulder blades, sending more shivers through me. "You are sooo hot as a redhead."

The compliment puts a huge smile on my face. I brush away a lock of his blond hair so I can gaze down into those blue-green eyes, so familiar and yet brand new. The moment is overwhelming. After all the confusion and craziness of tonight, the past few weeks, this whole semester at sea, I have to ask myself if I've made the right decision.

And I know I have. I've chosen me. I've chosen us.

* * *

**A/N: Thus, Bailey's big decision was really to choose to be herself. Special thanks to Riana Kaiba who gave me the idea early in the story that London could be the only one to recognize Bailey as a girl. I found the term "ghetto farmboy" through Google and decided to apply to it Bailey's style (or lack thereof :). Legal note: In a litigious society such as the United States, Mr. Moseby and Ms. Tutweiller would have realistic fears that the parents could sue them for professional negligence. **

**Well, guys, the ship-wide New Year's Eve party is next and there are plenty of loose ends to tie up. If there are any loose ends or questions you'd like to see covered before the story ends, please let me know in a review or just PM me. I promise to consider every idea. Feedback may determine whether I decide to write a sequel (hint hint :). Here are some possibilities: How will Woody react to Bailey being a girl? What's wrong with Cody's laptop? And most importantly, will anybody else forget their pants? **

**So much love and thanks for the enthusiasm and interest. Xoxoxo – Ellie**


	21. Chapter 20: That Explains So Much, Part1

**A/N: The big New Year's Eve Party is here at last—but will it be all fun and games? These final three chapters refer to various events, moments, and objects from the whole story (so read carefully! :)  


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**Chapter 20: "That Explains **_**So**_** Much" Part 1

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"Ugh, how _hideous_!" London exclaims when I walk into Cabin 8-201 at 5:30 on Thursday afternoon. "Is _that_ what you're wearing to the New Year's Eve party?"

"London," I say, feeling like I'm speaking to a five-year-old. "This is my _uniform_. I'm a waitress at the Neptune Room now, remember?" Mr. Moseby took pity on me when I told him I'd spent all my cash card money and arranged the job. He's been in a surprisingly good mood this week, despite the showdown on Monday night. I guess I have Ms. Tutweiller to thank for his new mellowness, and Zack and London by extension for their own (successful) dating questionnaire scheme.

"Oh, right. You poor people have to work for a living. It's _so_ sad." The heiress looks dressed up even in her leopard-patterned silk robe and fluffy slippers, with a towel wrapped around her head." Then she flounces away. "Dibs on the bathroom!"

I know she'll be in there for ages, which is why I showered on the Lido Deck on my way back from work. Looking around my new cabin, I realize there's nowhere to hang my uniform. The nail I used yesterday is now occupied by one of London's hundreds of designer dresses. I haven't even unpacked my suitcase yet because her enormous wardrobe fills both closets and dressers to bursting. Apparently a submarine follows the ship carrying her shoes.

_Sigh._ Being London's roommate and BFF is hard work, but I'm giving it my best Wilderness Girl Scout try. Besides, it's not like I have a choice if I want to stay at Seven Seas High. The tips at the Neptune Room are pretty good, but not enough to pay for my own cabin, however sweet that would be. I don't mind waitressing, although I did almost have a heart attack when I discovered the special of the day is always the most expensive dish.

I have no clue what to wear to the party tonight. I can't bring myself to wear any of my Holly dresses. The yellow dress showed up in a drycleaner's bag on Tuesday morning, and the other two are buried at the bottom of my suitcase. A trash bag on the floor near the door (hey, at least my new roommate takes out the trash!) gives me an idea. London only wears an outfit once and then throws it away. I rummage until I find a strappy silver Arturo Vitalli dress that fits me perfectly. London probably won't even remember it.

[***]

"London?" I call out at 6:45. "Are you almost ready?" I've been all dolled up and waiting for 10 minutes.

"Hello?" she shouts. "Some of us actually care about looking gorgeous!"

I sit on my bed and swing my feet. Like a good BFF and roommate, I want to wait for London. It's the least I can do after she saved Monday night. It's taking me a while to grasp that she knew my identity all along. This explains our occasional girl talks. She probably knew I appreciated them. As far as I can tell, she never knew about Zack and me, though. One day I will have to ask her if she saw through my tale of "Jamie-Beth" and "Jack."

The minutes keep ticking by. I delve into my backpack for my curling iron and add a few spiral curls to my bangs. A glance in the mirror confirms that I look hotmazing. Yes, I am definitely staying a redhead.

_Wooo hooo!_ It's 7:00, time for a party. "London?" I ask. "Ready yet?"

"Gorgeous!" she hollers back.

At this rate, it will be 2010 before we leave the cabin. "Fine, I'll see you there, London." I put on black ballet flats, another prize from the trash bag, reflecting that I do kind of miss the platform sandals. Nobody holds a candle to me in my red high heels, no matter what London might say. Then I head out. _A girl can only wait so long._

[***]

The New Year's Eve party is well under way when I get to the Fiesta Deck. The DJ is at his booth and people are dancing all over the deck, even in the waterslide pool. By the buffet (where else?) I see one of my favourite people. "Woody!" I squeal. I dash through the crowd to hug him, almost knocking over a few buffet-goers.

"Wow, random babes throwing themselves at me," he comments to Zack and Cody, who are talking a few feet away. "I love this place!"

"Woody, it's me, Bailey," I laugh and flip my hair over my shoulder. "Don't you recognize me?"

Woody's eyes bulge. "Dude, you're a girl!"

"Surprise," I say, enjoying his flabbergasted expression.

"Wait a minute..." A curious, excited grin spreads over his face. "Are you a girl who's also a dude?"

I shoot a "help me" look at the twins, but they're not getting involved in this conversation. It sounds like they're discussing the Red Sox' prospects for the upcoming season. "No, Woody, I'm just a regular girl," I reply. "Sorry to, um, disappoint you."

"That explains _so_ much," he says then.

"Like what?" If London knew I was a girl from my brothers' out-of-date clothes, what could have tipped Woody off?

"Like why I couldn't find any _Cheerleader Pillowfights_ videos online," he elaborates. "And I searched _everywhere_." His eyes light up. "But I did find some other interesting stuff."

"Hey!" Cody looks angrily at his roommate. "Is that why my laptop has been full of spyware all semester?"

Woody snatches a bowl from the buffet and hands it to Cody. "Mmmm, dip?" he asks virtuously.

_Too much information_, my brain screams. _Way too much information!_ Banishing all thoughts of Woody's online activities, I step over to my boyfriend. Zack looks ready for a party in grey jeans, a black and grey plaid shirt, and funky green sneakers. Even though we hung out together after work on Tuesday and Wednesday, I've missed him.

"Hey, you," I say coyly, looping my arms around his neck.

"Hey, beautiful." He pulls me into a kiss and everything fades. I'm glad I remembered to put my Diva Red lipgloss in my purse, since I'll need to reapply it now.

When we let go of each other, Woody is gaping at us. "Woah, how did _that_ happen?"

"Don't even ask," Cody answers with a trace of sarcasm and gravitates to a tray of mini quiches. I know our friendship is in tact, but I feel the sting anyway because I have to agree with him on this.

Poor oblivious Woody appears to be in shock. He reaches instinctively for a large platter of burritos. Zack's hand closes over Woody's wrist before he can take his first bite. "Put the burrito down," he commands. "NOW."

Woody surrenders the burrito with a scowl. "Fine," he grouses. "But you're missing out. I learned some really cool Hendrix tunes over Christmas."

"Nice one," I congratulate Zack, once Woody has moved on to safer buffet fare. "Thanks."

"You know me, baby," says Zack with that mischievous smile I adore. "I always have a plan."

It's time for dinner, because I'm starving. Another fantastic spread is laid out. Mr. Tipton sure knows how to treat his guests. I scoop an extra-large helping of fruit salad onto my plate, glad I don't have Oral Allergy Syndrome in real life. The shrimp I bypass altogether. I don't think I'll _ever_ be able to eat shrimp again.

We carry our plates to a nearby table. Cody and Woody have disappeared into the crowds, so we're by ourselves.

Oddly enough, seeing Woody again has reminded me of something I've been meaning to ask Zack. "So, I was wondering... what did you buy at the lingerie store on the Plaza Deck a few weeks ago?"

His reply makes me think the bass drum at the Starlight Follies show may have permanently damaged my hearing. "Please, please tell me that it's just really noisy out here," I implore, "and you didn't say you bought something for _Cody_ at the lingerie store." _Seriously, I thought twincest only happened in stuff like fanfiction._

Zack looks at me like I have three heads. "I _said_," he repeats in a louder voice, "I bought lilac air freshener for Cody because he used up the last of his during Woody's Thanksgiving concert. The lingerie store is the only place on the boat that sells his favourite brand."

This time I'm so relieved that I do need to sit down on a deck chair to recover. I guess you really can find everything on this floating paradise, from a silver chalice to lilac air freshener to a very sexy boyfriend.

Zack squishes into the chair next to me. "We can go back and get something for you, too," he says, putting his arm around me. "As long as I get to choose it. I still owe you a Christmas present. And a new hairbrush."

[***]

Somebody taps my shoulder when I'm at the buffet for seconds. When I turn around, I'm startled to see Addison standing next to me, in a ruffled sun dress (from some snobby boutique in St. Barts, no doubt), sporting a new tan. Instantly my guard goes up... what does _she_ want?

"Um, hi, I know you don't know me, but I saw you on deck earlier tonight," says the debutante-to-be. She seems rattled and less stuck-up than usual. "I just wanted to ask you, are you going out with Zack Martin, the guy who works at the smoothie bar?"

"Yes, I am," I enlighten her, taking care to sound vaguely threatening. "Why do you ask?" My hand is already creeping toward the breadstick basket because I could _so_ take her on, oh yeah, I could.

"Oh." Her face falls and she shuffles her feet. "I was just wondering, 'cuz I know him from school, you know here on the ship, and anyway..." she trails off, then takes another breath. "Well, he's a great guy, so you're, um, a lucky girl."

"He's got something special," I concur and my smile says it all. If Addison was ever my rival, she isn't anymore and now she knows it.

"OK, cool." Addison twines her fingers together and her light brown eyes glaze over. "I'm just gonna go grab a smoothie, so see ya." A moment later, she looks back at me. "The Holiday Happiness smoothies are awesome, you should get him to make you one."

"Sure," I laugh, and she heads toward the elevator. I realize Addison probably thinks I'm from Boston, visiting Zack for the holidays. Won't she be surprised when school starts again? I still haven't figured out how to handle the transition from "just one of the guys" to Bailey Pickett, regular girl, but I'm sure I'll think of a plan between now and Monday.

[***]

"Holy Toledo, y'all should get a room!"

My eyes fly open. Zack and I have been making out on the dance floor for, well, I'm not sure how long actually. Time has been slipping away. A techno remix of "November Rain" is playing. Suddenly I have a bizarre fantasy of Zack wearing tight jeans and an Axl Rose wig, singing about snow angels in December. _Yikes, either I went to the wrong punch bowl or I am finally losing it..._

"We already tried that," Zack informs the stranger. It's the same Texan who bumped into me outside the casino after the Three Stooges Film Festival. He's dancing with his blonde missus who's wearing a fancy black gown. Winning the jackpot has obviously worked out well for them.

Zack turns back to me and kisses the tip of my nose. I start to melt. I'm sure we're both thinking the same thing. Then I snap out of it. I don't want to miss counting down to midnight with all of my friends.

London and Cody are standing by the deck railing. The hours of preparation have paid off. My roommate is positively fantabulous in flawless makeup, a fuchsia knee-length dress, and dainty gold sandals. Her long dark hair hangs in exquisitely coiffed waves, accentuated by dangly diamond earrings. She doesn't look pleased to see me, though. In fact, she looks furious. Maybe she's recognized her strappy silver dress.

The DJ puts on "Brown Eyed Girl" by Van Morrison next. Zack envelops me in his arms, and I feel dreamy and sentimental, like I always do when I hear this song.

_Hey where did we go,  
Days when the rains came  
Down in the hollow,  
Playin' a new game,  
Laughing and a running hey, hey  
Skipping and a jumping  
In the misty morning fog with  
Our hearts a thumpin' and you  
My brown eyed girl,  
You my brown eyed girl._

Then I see Cody watching us. Our eyes connect. Instantly I know he's remembering our last dance at the Christmas Eve party, right here on the Fiesta Deck, while the DJ played "Beautiful." I stumble against Zack's shoulder, reeling from an unexpected rush of tears.

_Whatever happened  
To Tuesday and so slow  
Going down the old mine  
With a transistor radio  
Standing in the sunlight laughing,  
Hiding behind a rainbow's wall,  
Slipping and sliding  
All along the waterfall, with you  
My brown eyed girl,  
You my brown eyed girl._

_Do you remember when we used to sing,  
Sha la la la la la la la la la la te da._

There's no denying how cute Cody looks tonight in a light blue dress shirt, his favourite skinny black jeans, and new (presumably) black sneakers. Christmas Eve party was exactly a week ago, when I thought for sure he was the one for me. In retrospect, that night was the beginning of the end for Holly and Cody, even before the bad shrimp struck. But if this semester had turned out differently, if Zack and Cody had switched roommates on the first day of school, if my identity had somehow been exposed earlier—or even if Cody had made a different decision on Monday night—would Cody and I be together now? There's no way to know, and no point wondering. I can just hear Grammy say "Ifs and buts will drive you nuts."

_So hard to find my way,  
Now that I'm all on my own  
I saw you just the other day,  
My how you have grown,  
Cast my memory back there, Lord  
Sometime I'm overcome thinking 'bout  
Making love in the green grass  
Behind the stadium with you  
My brown eyed girl  
You my brown eyed girl._

_Do you remember when we used to sing,  
Sha la la la la la la la la la la te da._

A tug on one of my curls arouses me from a fog of memories and what-ifs. "Hey, brown eyed girl." Zack peers into my face. "Are you OK?"

"Yeah, I'm good." I try to smile as I hold back the tears. My feet hurt from all this dancing. When I look toward the railing again, Cody and London are both gone. "Hey, where'd they go?" I ask.

Zack takes my hand. "Come on, let's go get a smoothie," he says.

_To be continued_

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**A/N: The bittersweet irony of Van Morrison's classic, plus two brothers... and two brown eyed girls? Will anyone be celebrating at midnight?**

**Please read and review! Big thanks, you guys. Xoxoxo – Ellie **

**Here's the rundown (sorry if I forgot anyone):**

**Riana Kaiba – Zack's Christmas present line is for you**

**Wyntirsno – Addison's appearance was inspired by your guess that she could have been at the door in Chapter 16**


	22. Chapter 21: That Explains So Much, Part2

**A/N: More loose ends to be tied up! The last two scenes with Bailey and Zack on the Sky Deck take place near where the whole gang stands at the end of the new TSLOD opening sequence. The Starlight Deck is just above that, under the light strings.

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**Chapter 21: "That Explains **_**So**_** Much" Part 2

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Zack returns from Easy Squeezy carrying two smoothies. "Here, babe, try the Holiday Happiness special." He places a cup in my hands. "And shove over, will ya?" The lounger I'm lying on has just enough room for both of us if we snuggle very closely, which I don't mind at all. Resting my feet feels pretty good, too.

Sounds of revelry arise from the Gala Deck below and the Sky Deck above, but Deck 13 is fairly quiet. The stars are out in full force, and a carefree mood infuses the warm, salt-tinged air. I check my chunky watch, which I've started wearing again. The year will be over in exactly one hour and 56 minutes.

As I sip my smoothie, something else I've been meaning to ask Zack occurs to me. "Zack, how much did our dinner at the Neptune Room cost?" Now that I've seen the daily specials list at work, I need to know.

He glances away at the deck railing and mumbles something unintelligible.

I refuse to give up. "How much?"

"Two hundred seventy-five dollars, plus tip," he replies with a sheepish grin.

Holiday Happiness sprays across the deck. That's even worse than I feared. "Oh Zack, I am _so_ sorry," I exclaim, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand. "It was all my fault. I deliberately ordered the special of the day thinking it would be the best deal, like at the Kettlepod Diner. I had _no_ idea it was the most expensive thing on the menu." I hang my head in shame. "I guess I am just a small-town girl."

Zack kisses my forehead. "It wasn't _all_ your fault, babe. I'm the one who ordered that disgusting frog leg appetizer and the flaming dessert." He laughs. "I wanted you to think I was way cooler than the rednecks you were used to in Kansas."

"Well, it worked." I lay my head on his shoulder, the flannel shirt soft against my cheek. "It was the best date ever." The words become true as I say them, outshining any other night of my life. I can still picture the sunset from the balcony on the Gala Deck and the waiter lighting up our baked Alaska as though it were a bonfire. I can't believe we even got away with ordering it. Next to tonight, it's our only actual date.

We lapse into silence, drinking our smoothies. Addison was right. Holiday Happiness smoothies really are awesome, like a raspberry-flavoured candy cane with a dollop of butterscotch, a dash of cinnamon, and just a hint of ginger. I can almost forgive her for throwing herself at my boyfriend.

"So, aren't you glad your baseball cap fell off at the Boxing Day Bash?" Zack asks, seemingly out of the blue. "Otherwise we wouldn't be here now."

"Huh?" _What is he talking about?_

"Cody said that's how he found out you're a girl," he prompts. "Some big guy crashed into you and your hat fell off."

My hand tightens around my cup. Cody probably doesn't even remembering saying that. Naturally, Zack and I haven't talked much about the 13 days we were apart. From his casual tone, I can't tell if he's testing me or just making conversation. Unlike Cody, he doesn't exactly wear his heart on his sleeve. In this curled-up position, with my purse beginning to dig into my side, I can't see his face, either.

I shrug as nonchalantly as I can in our small space. "Something like that was bound to happen sooner or later. It was inevitable." I choose my next words carefully. "It was a good thing you showed up when you did. Cody was pretty wasted."

"That was a weird night. I just had this bad feeling all of a sudden." Zack toys with his smoothie straw as he speaks. "I saw Cody go to the punch bowl that Fred spiked when you got to the party. He's such a lightweight, but I didn't think he'd get that drunk. As soon as I found you guys and saw you without your hat and Cody puking on you, I just wanted to get him out of there. The last thing we needed was a huge scene in front of all those people. I figured he should hear the truth from me, you know. My brother can be kind of fragile, as you've probably noticed. I didn't even tell him about us, but he seemed to get it anyway."

"Yeah, I guess." I'm not sure what specifically I'm agreeing with. Finally I understand why Zack dragged Cody away after the mistletoe debacle.

"But what I really want to know is," he continues, "what did my brother say to you on Monday night?"

The smoothie cup slides a bit in my hand. I poke at a raspberry seed lodged in a back molar with my tongue. "Monday night?" After living a double life all these months, I know what a close call looks like—and this is as close as it gets.

Zack moves slightly and the lounger wobbles. "After his shift on Monday night, Cody said he'd talk to you for me, that he knew I was too stubborn to tell you I missed you. He was right, of course, but I just said 'Whatever.' " His light tone doesn't change. "I was still pretty pissed at you, Bailey, 'cuz you didn't even talk to me after Christmas. Then he called my cell an hour later and said you were on your way. So I've been wondering, what did he say to get you to come up to the smoothie bar? I didn't get a chance to ask him after the face-off with Moseby and Tutweiller."

My heart thumps at the repeated question. I set down my cup and twist around to face Zack, trying not to fall off the lounger. Even though his eyes are darker in the moonlight, right then I can see how much he cares for me. If I give the wrong answer, our relationship may end tonight. "Well, he... he dropped by our cabin and..." I search my brain for something both believable and inspiring "...he basically told me that we're both trouble-makers and we deserve each other." _Because in a way, Cody did say that_.

Zack bursts out laughing. "I guess my baby brother had us all figured out. I'll have to thank him for that." He puts down his own cup and hugs me tightly, tucking my chin into his shoulder as he strokes my hair.

_Yeah, me, too_, I think, stretching my arms around Zack so that that my elbows touch the back of the lounger. Unable to help it, I breathe a sigh of relief. If that actually was a test, I've passed.

The discussion seems to be over, but puzzle pieces roll around in my head like dice on a craps table. My suspicions are confirmed that Cody planned out much of what happened that night, up to the point where London surprised us all with her fashion analysis. How else would Zack have had that banana fofana smoothie ready for me when I arrived at Easy Squeezy? Cody was obviously willing to say whatever it took to get me to give Zack another chance. Most likely he waited outside Cabin 8-101 until he was absolutely sure I'd leave so he could call Zack. And then he called London to go for a walk. Did he and London show up when they did by coincidence or on purpose? From working at the towel station, Cody must have known when Mr. Moseby would be on his evening round. I also suspect the twins watched the late-night screening of _Casablanca_ on the Fiesta Deck on Christmas Day. Zack probably fell asleep halfway through.

Regardless of what happened behind the scenes on Monday night, it's ironic that at the beginning of the semester I assumed Cody would be too honest to keep my identity a secret. Now I'm depending on him to keep an even bigger secret from the person he is closest to in the world, the same person who is becoming the closest to me.

[***]

"I _knew_ it!" Zack yells. "I was right all along!"

I stop and follow his gaze down to where Ms. Tutweiller is dancing with Mr. Moseby on the Gala Deck. Her shiny green dress looks like it might also have come from London's trash.

"Tutweiller so was that Starlight Folly," he affirms. "I knew it had to be her."

"Whatever you say, Zack." I'm still not prepared to believe our teacher has her own double life as a showgirl. But from the way she's pirouetting and kicking up her heels to the salsa music, the idea seems less and less far-fetched. She sure can dance and Mr. Moseby is pretty light on his feet, too. Her fiery hair flies out as he spins her around and she looks so happy, nothing like the lonely woman who used to go for solitary late-night walks on the Lido Deck.

"You go, girl!" I shout down to her. "Whoever said blondes have more fun was lying!"

She waves to us, and Mr. Moseby dips her so low her hair touches the deck. They make such an adorable couple. Mr. Tipton must have given them permission to date. Perhaps London talked him into it.

"It was really cool of you and London to set them up," I say. "Some hearts just get lucky sometimes, and others need extra help."

Zack is already halfway up the stairs to the Sky Deck and doesn't hear me.

[***]

From our vantage point on the Sky Deck, we can see people partying on three different decks. I lean back on the railing, letting my hair hang down. I pick out the Big Dipper in the starry sky, and a few other constellations I recognize from those nights when I'd lie on the haystack behind our barn, wondering if I'd ever escape from Kettlecorn and what the future might hold for me.

Zack stares ahead at the dark horizon. The distance in his eyes unsettles me. "Hey, what's on your mind?" I ask and put my hand on his arm. _Is he having second thoughts about me—again?_

"I just remembered how around this time last week I found you facedown on the floor outside our cabin." he says, turning only partly toward me. "That was pretty freaky, Bailey. For a moment there, I thought maybe I was going to lose you for real."

I move nearer so that our foreheads touch. "Well, don't even think about that," I tell him, hearing the assurance in my words, " 'cause, baby, you are stuck with me."

"Yeah, I know," he says, smiling.

I press my lips to his to seal this deal and for the next while, all that exists is the two of us, up in this quiet corner of the Sky Deck, during these last few minutes of the year.

[***]

The trumpet player in the salsa band announces that it's 11:57. Time to get everyone together for the big countdown.

I cast around the Sky Deck for Woody. He's still in the game room playing pool with a couple of flirty girls. One I recognize from the singles cruise. The other may be Addison. "Where are London and Cody?" I ask Zack. "I haven't seen them for a while."

We both look up, way up, and see two people on the Starlight Deck. They look a lot like London and Cody. And it looks like they're holding hands. _Well, how about that...?_

"It's about time those two got together," Zack remarks. "I guess they worked out their issues."

I'm not sure what he means by this, but I am sure of one thing—I'm not jealous at all, just happy for my two friends. So I clap my hands and cheer, "Yay, them!"

The band stops playing and the trumpet player hands a microphone to Mr. Moseby. He stands in the centre of the Gala Deck, with Ms. Tutweiller at his side, and they start counting down to 2010.

"Kiss me, sweet thang," I say to Zack. From my purse I pull out a sprig of mistletoe that I swiped from the Neptune Room during my first shift._ Better late than never._ I hold the mistletoe above our heads with my right hand and grab his shirt collar with my left hand. Our final kiss of 2009 morphs into our first kiss of 2010 as reds, golds, and greens explode in the sky, creating a midnight sunset over the Caribbean Sea. The fireworks last for several minutes, but we end up missing most of them.

"OK, babe, it's time to blow this popsicle stand," Zack says, once the show is over, and he gets no argument from me.

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**A/N: This chapter sheds light on what everyone else was up to between Christmas Day and New Year's Eve. Specifically, I wanted to reference Cody's master-planning side seen in the early TSLOZAC episode "Maddie Checks In" where he helps engineer a situation that will bring Zack and Maddie closer together (but with Bailey as the girl this time). **

**In true homage to Disney fairy tales, Cody wins the heart of the heiress/princess as a reward for his heroic acts of courage (tricking and blackmailing Mr. Moseby and Ms. Tutweiller) and selflessness (giving up Bailey—his perfect match?—and showing brotherly love). Since this is a Disney story, you knew there would be a happy ending for everyone, right? :) The less Disney-esque ending will be posted in a couple of days. Thanks as always for the reviews and alerts! Xoxoxo – Ellie**

**Here's the rundown (again, sorry if I forgot anyone):**

**woundedhearts – your comments inspired parts of this chapter and the Carrie Underwood reference**

**J Loves M – Bailey's "right" answers are for you**

**AnotherParamoreFan – Zack's thank-you line is for you**

**Lodylodylody, Wyntirsno, kristina0 – the Starlight Deck scene is for you**


	23. Epilogue: OK, I Admit It

**A/N: It's the last chapter, you guys! Here's the less Disney-esque ending as foreshadowed throughout the New Year's Eve party arc. This chapter ties together all three themes of this story—"Just be yourself", "Baby, I always have a plan" and "Falling for you." It's also definitely more T-rated than the other chapters (just sayin').

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**Epilogue: "OK, I Admit It, I Lost My Dress"

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_I see a light in the sky  
Oh, it's almost blinding me  
I can't believe  
I've been touched by an angel with love  
Let the rain come down and wash away my tears  
Let it fill my soul and drown my fears  
Let it shatter the walls for a new, new sun  
A new day has... come_

_Celine Dion, "A New Day Has Come"_

[_-_]

I wake up to strains of sunlight warming my face. The very beginnings of a sunrise appear through the porthole in Cabin 8-102. Zack's arms are still wrapped around me, and it takes me a few moments to disengage myself. "Hey, baby," I say and kiss his lips softly. He barely stirs. Since he's never been a morning person, I decide to let him sleep.

Last night was really special, a night I will never forget, even before we fell into Cabin 8-102 after totally breaking the rule about public displays of affection in the halls. As I've told you before, a girl has to have some secrets, so the most I can say is that we did use a condom (seriously, Mom and Dad didn't raise _that_ much of a fool!), I never imagined I could feel this way about anyone, or that someone would feel the same way about me, and nobody knocked on the door. I have to give Zack extra props for banning Woody from the burritos. I guess the best laid plans do work out sometimes.

As much as I'd like to stay here, it's 6:30 and I need to get back to Cabin 8-201. The hall monitor will soon be on duty, even though it's New Year's Day. Getting a detention would _not_ be a good start to the year. I have no idea where my dress landed after Zack finally managed to undo the straps (probably I should have remembered that he can't even figure out Velcro shoes), so I pull on his grey jeans and the purple Brooklyn Bridge t-shirt.

While I'm hunting for my shoes, something shiny catches my eye, half-hidden by Zack's skateboard. It turns out to be my Kettlecorn snowglobe, with a tornado inside that blows a bunch of cows over a truck. I must have missed it while I was packing on Monday night. Good old Kettlecorn... I actually do love my home town, and my family and friends, but I am _so_ glad I won't be heading there tomorrow on a Greyhound bus. I don't even want to think about how that would have felt. Happy thoughts are already crowding out any negative ones.

I put the snowglobe in my purse and cuddle up to Zack. "Happy New Year, boo," I whisper. "I'll see you at work in a couple of hours." His eyes flicker open and when we kiss, I nearly crawl back under the covers. It feels like we've erased the hurt, confusion, and misunderstandings at last. If I'm completely honest with myself, which is my new year's resolution, I can see that I fell for Zack on the first day of school, the moment he decided once and for all not to trade me for Woody.

Then I tiptoe to the door and close it quietly behind me.

[***]

"Well, well, well," I say seconds later. "I never thought I'd see the day when _you_'d be busted for breaking curfew." _Nothing like pointing out the obvious to dispel a potentially embarrassing situation_. I quirk my left eyebrow like a pro. "Unless, of course, Mr. Moseby forgot his pants somewhere again."

Cody makes a remarkably fast recovery. "You're one to talk," he observes, putting the keycard to Cabin 8-101 into his pocket. He's wearing the same clothes from the New Year's Eve party and his hair is slightly messy, which suits him as always. "Nice outfit," he adds.

Since honesty is now the only policy, I own up to this fact. "OK, I admit it, I lost my dress. London's dress, actually." I recall the way she glared at me on the Fiesta Deck. "I think she's mad at me for taking it from her trash."

"I wouldn't worry," Cody says. "She probably didn't even recognize it."

"Sooo..." I don't want new secrets complicating my domestic "bliss" with London. "Are you starting a six-month plan with my roommate?"

Cody looks away, but only briefly. "Yeah, I think so. It might be more of a three-month plan, though. I had to speed things up a bit after I got back here last night and heard all the noise. It was pretty obvious you and my brother weren't watching _Cheerleader Pillowfights_ this time."

I'm just about to die of mortification when he rolls his eyes and says, "Bailey, I'm kidding. We saw Woody and Addison go to the midnight Mexican buffet, so she offered to let me stay over."

"Yay, you," I grumble, my face still on fire. It's too early for jokes like this, both in the day and in general. I'm going to give us an out. "Well, I guess I'll see you around. Maybe we can all watch _Flowers & Chocolate_ on the Fiesta Deck tonight?"

"Hey, I have a better idea," he says.

[***]

The sun has reached the horizon when we get to Deck 13, sending golden streaks across the soft bluish black clouds. We stand side by side, elbows on the railing, watching the dawn of a new day and a new year. The sea sparkles below and the fresh breeze whips my hair around us. After countless sunsets on the _S.S. Tipton_, a sunrise is a refreshing sight.

"I'm really happy for you and London." I have to say it sooner or later, and not just because I mean it. "London needs a knight in shining armour, and you're perfect for that role. She must have been thrilled when you spent Christmas Day with her after her dad couldn't make it."

"Yeah, she was," Cody says reflectively. "And when she stormed away from the dance floor last night, I knew I had to go after her."

A light bulb flashes on in my head, like the final puzzle piece falling into place. _Now_ everything makes sense—London's cold stares, my mini-meltdown, London and Cody's disappearance, Zack's suspicious questions while we drank our Holiday Happiness smoothies.

"Cody, I am so, so sorry," I say. There are those words again. "Seriously, I didn't mean to cause any crap to hit the fan. Especially after London spent all those hours getting dressed up, just for you. I just get really emotional whenever I hear "Brown Eyed Girl." It brings back all kinds of memories for me, first dates, barn dances, summer nights in Kettlecorn, other stuff..." That's as far as I can go without blushing to the extreme.

"It's OK. I understand." He looks down into my eyes and I know that it's true, we do understand each other.

The sun has climbed over the horizon now, turning the sky a brilliant orange. January 1, 2010 is going to be beautiful day.

"Thanks again for everything you did on Monday night, Cody," I say sincerely. "And by that I mean _everything_. Including the guy who knocked off my hat."

A smile plays on his lips. "No problem. Just promise me you won't let Zack flunk out of Seven Seas High, OK?"

"I promise." With my right hand I hold up the Wilderness Girl Scouts' honour sign.

Cody smiles for real this time. He puts his arm on my shoulders and I lean against him. Sunlight pours down as the sun continues its ascent. The sky is turning a pale blue and the stars have all vanished. Just knowing I have many more sunrises to look forward to on the _S.S. Tipton_ makes me smile, too.

"Hey, Holly," Cody says suddenly. "Wanna play pool?"

I check my watch. It's only 7:30—enough time for at least one game. "You know me too well, Cody," I laugh and head for the stairs to the Sky Deck, my red hair streaming out behind me.

****The End**  


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**A/N: Tons of thanks for the nominations in the Suite Life Readers' Choice Awards (vote if you haven't already!), and for following this story to the end. I hope you liked it! Thanks to all the reviews and responses, I have plenty of ideas and motivation for a sequel. It will focus on the "Wizards on Deck" crossover and there will be some surprises. So keep a look-out for the first chapter before the end of September (hopefully!), or add me to your Author Alerts. In the meantime I'll be continuing to read and review. Inspired by tiger002's lost chapters for **_**Separated, but Not Apart**_** I will also post some alternate/early versions of chapters in a separate story. **

**On a personal note, your reviews, comments and overwhelming enthusiasm for **_**Just One of the Guys**_** really made my summer and gave me a major confidence boost in my writing skills. Today I am starting a course in screenwriting for television to learn more about this field.**

**Here's the rundown (again, sorry if I forgot anyone):**

**Reneyyy'Sprouse', tiger002 – your reviews inspired the lost article of clothing **

**All you Cailey fans out there (if you're still reading this! :) – the final lines are for you guys**


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